As I walk through the flat of my owner's dad
I take a look at my mess and realise I've been real bad
And I've been playing and prancing so long that
Even my owner thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never hurt a person even if they deserved it
A fighting boxer dog, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how I'm talking and where you're walking
Or you and your homies are inclined to fall
I really hate to bark, but I gotta talk
As I grow I see myself on an endless walk, fool
I'm the kinda dog the little puppies wanna be like
Under sheets in the night, close my eyes at the bed light

Been spending most my life livin' in a boxer's paradise
I've peed inside once or twice, livin' in a boxer's paradise
There's no work or sacrifice, livin' in a boxer's paradise
I was bought for no big price, livin' in a boxer's paradise

Forget my smaller brother, I've got no other
I love living normal life, with a coat full of stripes
As a puppy I was with my own team
And my tongue was hanging out while I was having dreams
I'm a doggy Peter Pan, with playtime on my mind
Got a rope in my mouth and a gleam in my eye
Sit under the table, to get some banger
Even though I get none it don't arouse my anger, fool
Guests ain't nothing but a heartbeat away
And when they leave, I cry, cos I want them to stay
And my face ain't a base for launching a bomb
Any guess for what it's for would be wrong

There's no docked tail, no inside pee
But I've been spayed, so there's no puppies

Been spending most my life livin' in a boxer's paradise
Can't conceive with other guys, livin' in a boxer's paradise
Playtime's my biggest vice, livin' in a boxer's paradise
Of all dogs, I'm really nice, livin' in a boxer's paradise

Talking to the squeaky, pulling on my rope
Waking up from car rides, feeling kinda dope
I am loudly talkin', but no one else is looking
What's going on at the table, but I don't get their cooking
They say I have to talk, but nobody's here to teach me
If no one understands me, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't, I guess they don't
I guess I'm tired, that why I think I've had enough fun, fool

Been spending most my life livin' in a boxer's paradise
We're all big crazy canines, livin' in a boxer's paradise
I don't like the bedside lights, livin' in a boxer's paradise
I don't give nobody bites, livin' in a boxer's paradise

(boxer choir howls, then sighs. Very heavily.)