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Song Parodies -> "Send 'Em Back!"

Original Song Title:

"Just Came Back"

Original Performer:

Colin James

Parody Song Title:

"Send 'Em Back!"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

This is for Peter Andersson's ONE WEEK NOTICE challenge (Week 13) hosted once again by Peter Andersson! A line in "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" always confused me... Why would they want to send back perfectly good presents? Unless they really aren't that good in the first place...
- [Christmas Blues]:

Hear my groan on Christmas Day
Since this robe is pink and bright!
Hear my moan on Christmas Day
That square globe's filled with termites!
Poker playing dog art
Grandpa's package is such a plight!

- [Christmas Rock]:

When I first saw these I yanked off all that string
Hoped for an X-Box or Wii or some... fun thing!
Go shove your kindness up your 'hind with your polka-dot fleece
Grandma's stuffing junk underneath my tree

Don't want bath soap or fuzzy dice
Let's send 'em back... For a good price!

Mom gave me a vegan cook book
She knows I wanted a pup but she is such a crook
(Don't want your stupid present, Present sucks!)
I wanted more board games not this bird cage
Pickle jars are such a shame!

Kinky sex rope's from my friend Clyde?!
Let's send 'em back... "You're not my type!"

Let's send 'em back... Wilted banzai
(Let's send 'em back) Gimme Baileys!
Huge porno stack... That's far from dry!
(Let's send 'em back) This wig's flakey!

-[Christmas Guitar Solo]:

Y'all gift real bad: Have ya seen a damn mall?!
Who wraps up ten feet of lumber or a blow up dooooooooooll?!
This parcel that I dread: Gave me a huge fright!
Heard a loud meow... Hope that cat's alright!

You're such a dope: Singing walleye
Let's send it back, That's not a prize!

You should be smacked... Because you're high
(Cut out the crack) Cat has rabies!
Trapped in this shack... With white trash guys!
(We'll send 'em back) Shop at Macy's!

-[Christmas Outro]:

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   6
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - November 27, 2017 - Report this comment
The Amazon Return Policy alma mater!
Peter Andersson - November 27, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks for reminding me why I have santaclaustrophobia - and good luck making that pussy an ex.
Claude Prez - November 27, 2017 - Report this comment
Ah yes....nothing worse than a flaky wig, I say...well done, lots of clever stuff as usual
Canada Cool 1989 - December 04, 2017 - Report this comment
You just came back to send them back!

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