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Song Parodies -> "Mortality"

Original Song Title:

"Just Came Back"

Original Performer:

Colin James

Parody Song Title:

"Mortality"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
Well I got stones in my kidney
And my ear aches at night
All my bones are so flimsy
And my stool is dark and slight
All my veins go off chart
When I walk up one stair flight

When I first wake up, my joints begin to sing
I can’t really breathe ‘til I am done coughing
Then I turn on the bathroom light and in the mirror see
Pimples popping up and my cavities

I hope that one more day I’ll survive
Because I’m on track to lay and die

So after the 10 pills I took
I turn the burner on and look for some eggs to cook
My hands they are shakin’, shakin’, look!
I saw my best days, I’m leaving this stage
Shiny star now fading, shame

I hope that one more day I’ll survive
Because I’m on track to lay and die

My skin is cracked—I just get by
(I crack my back) Oi vey, baby
I feel so racked—I can’t say why
(I snort and hack) Oi vey, baby

I then blow out green snot in a Kleenex ball
And my feet are feeling number, and my scalp’s got more bald
You are my best friend, so you’ll treat me right
Please come round and call the men in white

Hard to believe I’m 39
Because I’m on track to lay and die

I’m on the track to say goodbye
(I’m on the track) I’m not healthy
I’m on the track to say goodbye
(I’m on the track) Not too stealthy

Copyright 2017, Agrimorfee

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Below Average Dave - November 24, 2017 - Report this comment
Something tells me your insurance rates are pretty high;) Balding at 39? Hey--I hope I'm not at that age--but I had a friend in high school who was constantly sick, balding and on medications every single hour. . .he was 16 when we met . . . well paced too
Matthias - November 24, 2017 - Report this comment
NOT ONLY did you and Claude Prez open with the same line you also had a line in here about being best friends with the character they're speaking to. Whatta strange coincidence! PS: What are you trying to say Dave?! I'm 29 and I'm bald! I'm HIGHLY OFFENDED here! lol
Agrimorfee - November 24, 2017 - Report this comment
I felt a little bit creatively juiced here, as I have covered latent illness/medical symptoms as a topic at least 2x before, but the kidney opening line was too good to ignore! Thanks guys!
Below Average Dave - November 24, 2017 - Report this comment
Oh Matthias--Look what you made me do. . .tee hee hee
Peter Andersson - November 24, 2017 - Report this comment
I actually expected someone to open with "stones in my kidney" when I picked this OS, but not both of you! Now the question remains, did Matthias do it to, and if so will he use the weekend to change that line without telling us? :-)
Claude Prez - November 24, 2017 - Report this comment
Great job! Particularly fond of that first line; absolute brilliance!!! And I'm not just saying that because I telepathically stole it from you. Seriously though, well done -- one of the things I love about this challenge is seeing how people approach the same song differently -- and also the similarities that are bound to emerge now and then; very fun.

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