Intro:
(Scene: The Living Room)
(John Candy Fan is watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles
John Candy Fan (Me): That John Candy is such a cool fat guy. I'm not neither of those, i'm just a pathetic loser. I'm sick of being an average guy. I wish i was John Candy, then i could help people and do other cool stuff.

(he then walks into the bedroom, lies down on the bed and ponders)

Look at me
You may think you see
Just a normal guy
I don’t want to be me
Anymore, don’t you know
I wish that I…
could be someone else
I wish I was John Candy.
That fat comic fool
With the great big heart
When will I be John Candy?
When will I cease to be me?
When will my reflection show
That I’m no longer me?
I am sick
Of being me
And not J.C
And I wish I was him.
But one day..I’ll wake up
and see that I’m J.C
The slob with the big heart.
And be loved for being him.
When will I be John Candy?
When will I cease to be me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I‘m sick of?
I wish that I just could be
John Candy for all time.
When will my reflection show
That I’m no longer me?
There’s a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why
These feelings I don’t conceal.
What I think
How I feel
I wish I wish I was J.C
And not me.
I wish I was John Candy
All year long.
For all time
When will my reflections show
That I’m no longer me?
When will my reflections show
That I’m no longer me?

Outro:
(Scene: The bedroom)
(John Candy Fan has finished pondering about how wonderful being John Candy would be)
John Candy Fan (Me): Yeah. Being J.C would be awesome! I really do wish i was him. But it looks that wish won't ever come true. Hey, i can dream can't i? (Chuckles, but his laugh is that of John Candy) Huh? Could it be? Nah, can't be.
(As he leaves the room, the reflection in the mirror changes from that of his normal average self into John Candy)