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Song Parodies -> "Grimmauld Place Tango"

Original Song Title:

"Cell Block Tango"

Original Performer:

Chicago the Musical

Parody Song Title:

"Grimmauld Place Tango"

Parody Written by:

Sociofemme and Mousapelli

The Lyrics

We were singing Cell Block Tango and talking about Harry Potter
fanfiction...and then this happened. If you think this is funny, you
should ehar us sing the mp3.
[TONKS] Vigilance
[MINERVA] Three
[NEVILLE] Squish
[VIKTOR] Uh uh
[NARCISSA] Hogs Head
[RON] Potter!

[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[TONKS] Vigilance
[MINERVA] Three
[NEVILLE] Squish
[VIKTOR] Uh uh
[NARCISSA] Hogs Head
[RON] Potter!

[TONKS]
You know how people have these little habits
That get you down. Like Moody.
Moody liked to mention "constant vigilance."
No, not mention. SCREAM.
Well, I came to the Order meeting this one day
And I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy
and there'e Moody layin' on the couch, polishing his eye
and mentionin'. No, not mentionin'.
SCREAMIN'. So, I said to him,
I said, "Moody, you SCREAM "constant vigilance" one more time..."
and he did.
So I took my wand off the wall and I fired two warning hexes...
...into his eye socket.

[MINERVA]
I met Remus Lupin in the staff lounge about two years ago
and he told me I was the only Animagus for him
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to class, he'd come home, I would make him some tea, We'd
have dinner.
Well, it was like heaven in two and a half rooms.
And then I found out:
"the only animagus?" he told me
Only, my ass. Not only did he have other animagi
...oh, no, he had three of them.
One of those Dark Creatures, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I gave him his cuppa as usual.
You know, some werewolves just can't hold their Wolfsbane.

[TONKS,MINERVA,NEVILLE,RON]
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower in its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder, But not a crime!

[NARCISSA AND VIKTOR]
vigilance, three, squish, uh-uh, Hogs Head, Potter

[NEVILLE]
Now, I'm in Greenhouse Three,
Repotting my mimbulus mimbletonia,
minding my own business,
and in storms Draco Malfoy, in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the Potions Master,"
he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the Potions Master."
And then he ran into my trowel.
He ran into my trowel ten times!

[All]
vigilance, three, squish, uh-uh, Hogs Head, Potter

[VIKTOR]
Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok,
hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja
Cedric Diggory hogy en tettem. probaltam
a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...
[NEVILLE] Yeah, but did you do it?
[VIKTOR] UH UH, not guilty!

[NARCISSA]
My husband, Lucius, and I did this double act
and the Dark Lord, You Know Who, used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 Dark spells in a
row
one, two, three, four,five...
hexes, curses, jinxes, Unforgiveables,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in the Hogs Head,
the three of us, sittin' up
in a hotel room, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of ice. So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Lucius and Voldie doing Number Seventeen-
the Spread Phoenix.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out.I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later, when I was washing the ichor off my hands
I even knew they were dead.
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

[RON]
I loved Harry Potter more than I can possibly say.
He was a real athletic guy... sporty... a Seeker.
But he was troubled.
He was always trying to find the Snitch.
He'd go out every night looking for the Snitch
and on the way he found Charlie,
Fred,
Percy,
and GINNY.
I guess you can say we broke up because of ship differences.
He saw himself as het
and I saw him SLASHED.

[GIRLS]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[TONKS,MINERVA,RON]
They had it comin' all along
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us
How could you tell us
That we were wrong?

[TONKS] You shout that phrase one more time!
[MINERVA] Only Animagus my ass.
[NEVILLE] Ten times!
[VIKTOR] Miert csukott Cedric Diggory bortonbe.
[NARCISSA] Number seventeen-the Spread Phoenix.
[RON] Ship differences.

[ALL] I betcha you would have done the same!

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Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 15

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