Yeah
As a child dishes piled up in the sink
Mom frowned, and smacked my head
and then she chewed me out and asked me if I saw the chart
I said "Yeah"
So then she said "Oh so you think that
you, you don't have to do them?"
I said "No, I suck, don't know how to do them"
Acting like a dummy, That's how I got by
But that's just one of my many examples
I never want to do them myself

uh uh-uh uh, no, uh uh
No mommy please, Garbage won't tie
sticky gum, I don't wanna get dirty I cry
all my friends were cutting yards but no not I
The grass gets to high, messes my whites
Everything the chore chart said I truly despise
I'm always sick, or so I claimed when my sisters both whined
I don't clean none, and my laundry piles up high
I won't organize my books or alphabetize
Me and my friends all playing games in each others house
They were fine until all them roaches start coming out
Dirty clothes I loathe, but I will not use Shout
So I sneak lights into my mom's load of towels
Yo, anyway as a kid, was no smiling
Brushing took too much time so my teeth were not styling
Can't tame me, Chores are lame, may be a shame
Each days the same, playin' games and my cough was to blame

Hey did you mop the floor?
Won't do my chores
Hey, David pull those weeds yet?
Won't do my chores
Yo Dave where's your keys at
Won't do my chores
Have you given your pants a pat?
Won't do my chores
You need to get your homework done now
Won't do my chores
Clean the pool mow the yard!
Won't do my chores
Dave you need to grow up!
Won't do my chores
Now, or you'll grow up to be a waste!
Won't do my chores

Rash on my mass Rug burns fast I grew up fast
Living on my own was harder to be such an @$$
Do what I want, always trying to cut corners
I'm slippin up, since I am older and somewhat a loner
Yo, I will not dust all them candlesticks dirty wicks
although the dust clouds build, and it makes me sick
Wish I could hire someone to come over and clean too
Make a two inch pass for me that my room I can get through
I've been told, Tile's growing mold, won't clean it
and surely I won't go scrub down my toilet
My friend won't come through because my carepts insane
You'll find less oil on a league bowling lane
My health's through lit'rally Teeth falling out too
Green goo covers all my clothes and changed my hue
The flys all zoom all around my living room
Grabbing a broom they will meet their doom I smack them BOOM!

Hey David this smells rough. .
Won't do my chores
Hey David why's the drain black?
Won't do my chores
Hey Dave, you need a bat?
Won't do my chores
because damn that's a big rat
Won't do my chores
Even though it's kinda smelly I still
Won't do my chores
Need some Glade and some Febreeze
Won't do my chores
Landlord said get out
Won't do my chores
Guess I should have tossed those paper plates
Won't do my chores

Yo, I cannot scrub or clean my machine
I think my brown sedan may have at one point been dark green
My stove is shot, too much for Mr. Clean
It's more grease than even Pizza Hut's seen
Toaster's lost my grill looks like a crime scene
Can't eat that I'll get really lean
Clever am I ever for Wendy's I am keen
I'm messy I keep getting May'naise on my jeans
All the time people snickering like I'm some kind of clown
I guess by now my stench be smelled throughout the whole town
Like the news crew who got a whiff and then fell down
but it was live so now laziness has become world renowned
I know. . I have been called ev'ry single bad noun
I have grown use to it so much that it cannot give me a frown
There is just no doubt Cleaning I can do without
Became devout at skipping all chores, there's no doubt!

Hey Dave, clean up your lunch
Won't do my chores
Just looking makes my skin itch
Won't do my chores
Oh man messed my good hat. . .
Won't do my chores
I guess that I can't wear that
Won't do my chores
Even though it is unhealthy I still
Won't do my chores
Some might say I live in sin
Won't do my chores
I just don't like suds
Won't do my chores
But sometimes I really want to know
Hey where's the floor