Have You Ever needed money so bad you'd make up lies
Have You Ever been so desperate that you would sue a nice guy
Have You Ever eaten at a rest'rant and then faked a cry

Have You Ever, Please don't ever. . .

Have You Ever watched the news and started feeling sad
See them do silly things, and sue for fifty grand
Have you eaten Burger King, and blame them for you weight
Or spill a coffee cup boy, knowing it'd burn your legs
Have You Ever bought something you knew would fall apart
Called a lawyer right away, Before the pain could even start

Please Don't Ever get so money hungry you'd lose your mind
Doing things like slipping on a wet spot you had hoped to find
Going to work with a back sign that had read "Smack my Behind"

Have You Ever, Have You Ever

Have you ever found fingers that were lost to a knife
Visit Wendy's Food Chain, Got Chili and Fries
Stuck it in that little cup, Wish this one was untrue
Thought it would be some fun, to turn around and sue

Have You Ever been hit by a car and didn't swear
At first there wasn't no pain, 'Til your lawyer said he cares

Have you Ever sued somebody just to pay rent on time
Did you realize that fake lawsuits aren't just a petty crime
Have You Ever searched for something fishy just to make a dime

Have You Ever, Please Don't Ever

Asking for trouble from the very start-dummy
What would the judge say if he was that smart
Is that what you had planned
To have to sit up there and plea
Telling a jury of your peers
That you are not guilty

Have You Ever. . .

Have You Ever tried being the guy who's on the screwed side
Knowing you had done nothing wrong while some Butt Hole stood and lied
Have You Ever lost your money and it made you wanna cry

Think You're Clever
You Ain't Clever, Clever, Clever Clever. . .

Please Don't Ever