It just might be ADHD
This is what it’s come to, this song has got a problem (problem)
Yes, it’s got a problem (problem)—it goes in no straight line
So many topics will be sung (they will be sung, they will be sung)
This parody wanders, like there’s no tomorrow
This parody wanders, it’s bad luck you see
This parody wanders, all from my head so
This parody wanders quite majestically
‘Cause it’s stuck on Jump mode, wait 'til you see now

Let us meet a water cow
With a lovely little snout
In Florida’s warmer zones
In the waters is its home
Has its pup once a year born
Shouldn’t wash up on the shore
“Veggietales” and “Simpsons” know
Like a pile of grey jello—grey jello, grey jello
Floats its way through towards the sea
Talks in a low frequency
That is why they’re so impaired
By the big boats crashing there
Nature’s curiosity
Still endangered—wait and see
Heavy beast for you and me
Say “Hi” to the manatee

How's Miley Cyrus? I am not sure
Indubitably, definitely no longer demure
It gives me unease—you were just a teen
Now you ride on that wrecking ball machine
Not my generation, can’t stimulate me
But it ain’t no harm, you are free
There’s a Party In The USA, but wear a sheet
While they censor Katy Perry from Sesame Street, yeah
All the misses getting older, it's just so weird to see
That you go lewdly, so nudie on TV
I guess that it’s better to be
That than Ms. Amanda, or Ms. Lindsay
And she twerks a little faster, waves that finger with glee
Gets inboxes filled at gawker and TMZ, now

But for now let’s switch the topics
Start talking about some thing like plate tectonics
Land masses not convex, that’s how earthquakes begin
When all the ground shuffles, Richter’s Scale kicks in
There is little humor in this part, I see
No joking for this kind of big tragedy
Unless we imagine Jersey takes a dump in the sea

Now that’s sheer depravity (yea, verily)
Let’s strive for better comedy (let’s go quickly)
Let’s write this song without a shame! (no travesty!)
Let's not let this fall down the drains (tenacity!)

Why is there a word that looks like “heed” but spelled as is as head,
While we see knead’s that said as “need” but it looks much more like “Ned”?
Now when you go to bed tonight, if you can’t go to sleep
Try thinking up some thoughts like this instead of counting sheep

Oh my son, oh my daughter
Don’t ever get kidnapped by a flying saucer
They may fry your brain
And probe all your holes
A great distraction, distraction from my golf
Bastards got the better of me
First they hit a birdie, ate my caddy

U.S. nation, feeling all right?
I need hose and filters, my name is Walter White 'cause
My bad has been breaking long on AMC
My meth lab hiding in this old RV, yeah
I learned about street values, for my son and for my daughter
Pharmaceutical solutions with violent gang slaughters
The ‘net folks all have rumors about how they’ll end my tale
Let me share a revelation, the guest star’s Christian Bale

What will this song cover now?
How ‘bout scary circus clowns?
Traveling from show to show
With a bulbous rubber nose
Always honking with a horn
Was this the way they were born?
Time for all of them to go
Go you Bozos, go Bozos!

Increase vocabulary (quite rapidly!)
Being cheerful while so ready (Alacrity!)
The level that this light is damped (Opacity!)
Fun collecting old postage stamps (Philately!)

Yo mama is so ugly that it really is a sin!
Yo Dad said take the garbage out, yo dumb bro threw her in!
Yo mama also ain’t too bright
It makes me laugh and sigh
She says the baker's, not 3.14's the only place for pi!

Your dentist now speaks practically (veracity!)
Your molar has a bad cavity (outstandingly)
So quit imbibing fizzy drinks (acidity)
And chewing on those steel chain links (stupidity!)

I’m glad you all came tonight to see Tom and Joan get wed
I can’t forget when I first met Joan, she crawled out off my bed
She yawned and then she asked me to unshackle all her locks
I guess that I could go on some more, but I think I’d better stop
*So drink up all the wine tonight, this stuff it don’t come cheap
Like the broads we got for Tom at the hotel fast asleep
Joan has got the sultry looks and voice that makes a guy go blind
Though the icepicks hiding in her room will do the job just fine

*[Begin final kiddie chorus under the coda:
Aggie’s getting desperate now
Parody must end somehow
Chorus repeat strikes a blow
Elfman, drive those kids back home
Will this mission soon abort?
All his readers start to snort
Here comes the end of this show]

[Coda with lead vocal over final chorus above]
Now the song inside my mind has pooted like a fart
From flexing all my muscle for the music spoofing art
Yes I killed that writer’s block, I’ve thrown it in the shed
Or maybe I should parody “Goodbye, Goodbye” instead?

(just echo)…Heyyyy…(just echo)...Heyyyy (just echo, just echo)...hiiiiyaaah!!!