I've found a dead bean,
I've found a dead bean,
on the Melbourne Metro there,
Numpty and Dippy and all the little dummies
plastered everywhere,
Limbs dismembered, blood has spurted,
Though the commuters don't mind,
Their cute little faces on the platform walls,
Found on every Melbourne train ride

There's another dead bean,
There's another dead bean,
in Flinders Street Station there,
One with the toaster and one with the antlers,
Three without their heads,
Fat ones, skinny ones, egg ones, bean ones,
Each with adorable eyes,
Load up your phone, take a selfie home,
for another Melbourne train ride.

Saw a few dead beans,
Saw a few dead beans,
Gave them a hug and a smile,
High school age commuters give them group hugs,
queues running up for miles,
Now they know we love cute dead things
telling us to do things right,
Cause three were hurt being nuts around trains,
what a terrible, painful sight.

There's another dead bean,
There's another dead bean,
in the commuter paper there,
Everyday I flick through the newsprint pages
to see their cutie faces again,
Split ones, stuck ones, holiday adverts,
It's a collectible sight,
It brings me a smile to see those little dead beans
one every Melbourne train ride.