Moron Clown

Oh, once upon a rush hour bleary
I slowed for something up ahead
I was running late for work, you see
And I thought that I could pass you instead
I swung out to the left and then sped up again
So that we would not collide
Then I tried to spot you in my rearview mirror
And saw that you were right there by my side
Yeah, there you were right by my side!
Now suddenly you want to go fast?
Is it because I wanted to pass?
Tried to get around you but you’re still here
I say that with a certain degree of fear
You must be the dean of speed
And I am not allowed to lead

But you…
Why you wanna drive like a moron clown?
I had a sure-fire way to speed things up
And all you do is slow me down

Yours is not the only offense
There’s a great many things
Well I've been there and I have seen it all
I wouldn’t drive my car at all if I had wings
It’s a bad move when you don’t make clear
Your intentions or what’s inside your skull
And such a simple thing, don’t require much
So why not use your turn signal?
Hey moron, it helps us all!
If I get you by the neck, I’m gonna make you see
I’ll show you all the things that aggravate me
So what I feel becomes yours as well
And soon if we're lucky you will be able to tell
Your ass is mine
Road rage is fine
And it doesn't have to rhyme
So don't you miss any signs!

But you…
Why you wanna drive like a moron clown?
You have a sure-fire way to screw things up
And all you do is slow me down

Pilot to cell phone girl, this is the pilot speaking
And I've got your car in view
It seems your car goes slow
When you’re texting your beau
There ain't a whole lot that I can do
Oh sure, you shouldn’t be texting
While you drive a two ton car
But now I’ve got a little quiz to give
What do you think this high speed freeway is for?
Hang up the phone and maybe we’ll live
Yeah, hang it up and maybe we’ll live
Oh I like coffee, but not on me
And I’m tired of screaming like a crazed banshee
Whenever you swerve and my lane you take
Then just as I recover you slam on your brakes
Well alright, okay, so be that way
Just hope and pray
You’re able to get away

But you…
Why you wanna drive like a moron clown?
You have a sure-fire way to screw things up
And all you do is slow me down

Oh you…
Why you wanna drive like a moron clown?
I had a sure-fire way to speed things up
And all you do is slow me down