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Song Parodies -> "AK Forty Sev"

Original Song Title:

"Achy Breaky Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Ray Cyrus

Parody Song Title:

"AK Forty Sev"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

Take my Tiki Torch,
The stuffed chair off the porch
And my outhouse Sears catalog
Borrow and keep a tool,
My three step cupboard stool
That NASCAR jacket, or my old pet hog

Repossess the truck,
Steal my hound dog, Buck
My moonshine stash, or that old big bear trap
And you can take away
The sheet for KKK
Snitch my fuzzy Daniel Boone coon cap..

But don't take my gun, This slick militia one
The Bill of Rights, second amend
A weapon that I love, and if push comes to shove
You'd better bring an army with ya', friend

You can have my maw,
And you can have my paw
What's left of the Bud in last week's keg
I'll throw in some beans,
A brand new pair of jeans,
Most anything you want, without a beg..

Take my fishin' raft,
That George Bush photograph
And the indian arrowhead I found yesterday
Grab my rebel flag,
The taxidermied stag,
And that old Ford on blocks in our driveway..

But don't take it Nev, my AK forty "Sev"
Don't ever try to confiskate this gun
Don't tell me it's banned, while it's here in my hand
This old moose killer gets her done..

You can't have this barrel,
I'm here to tell ya, Darryl
Your fifty thousand volts might stun
But, send a single source,
Your gun law, to enforce
And through his body, he'll see sun

Take my daughter, Bev, but skip my AK "Sev"
This baby's loaded in my hand
It's one peace makin' pipe, can settle any gripe
Now please tread lightly off my land..

Please tread lightly off my land

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   16
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User Comments

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Matthias - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
You must have shared a mindset with Rob on this one because he has done a million songs about weapons and this on is on par with all of those. Well done!
Rob Arndt - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Everyone loves an AK-47-555! I personally have owned and fired many of them from AK-47 to many of the foreign spin-offs like the Valmet and Galil. Russians now use the 100 series 101-103 and a better substitute is found with the Nikonov An-94. The AK series are the most produced rifles in the world with over 60 million of them dispersed worldwide. All due to the capture of the German assault weapons Mkb-42(H), Mkb-42(W), MP-43/STG-43/STG-44: http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/assault/as51/mp44-1.jpg An-94: http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/assault/as08/an94-1.jpg
Patrick - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
The Russians are selling AK variants to the US civilian market to finance their new generation military AK. I once managed to blow up a Chinese AK using blanks, but that is a long story. By the way, do you cling to a Bible, too?
Peregrin - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Billy Ray rarely makes me laugh, AFW, but this did. I really liked the Dubya photo thrown in there as well!
2Eagle - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Bull's eye.
Callmelennie - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm a Republican, obviously .. still in all, nice dig at George Bush and Republicans .. subtle. Some of the other parodists in the liberal phalanx should take notes
Rob Arndt - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick, the new AK-12 was revealed this year and is in development for replacing many of the AK-74M and Series 100 rifles shared by the Russian Army and MoI. The Nikonov An-94 has been adopted as the official replacement and has been for a long time, but at a slow pace. The AK-12 is inferior to the An-94 and deals largely with ergonomics and a higher capacity 60 rd mag which is awkward. I find no evidence of export sales increase of AK variants like the Saiga shotgun, etc... to pay for the AK-12. Even in a blue state like Cali I can get any number of AK clones in 7.62x39mm or the SKS! Btw, did you know that Jesus' disciples were armed as evidenced by the Garden of Gethsemane incident: "When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, 'Lord, should we strike with our swords?' And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, 'No more of this!' " (22:49-51a). "Swords" in this incident translated as typical ME dagger for the time... (yawn)...
Rob Arndt - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
AK-12: http://cheaperthandirt.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/AK-12full.jpg
Tommy Turtle - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Finally, a chance to return to you what you've kindly commented to me several times: 555 for a good technical write. (I think not all readers understood that you were satirizing gun owners as a group.)

Patrick made the correct ref to how many law-abiding citizens POTUS ticked off with his "cling to guns and religion" remark. Stereotyping: shame! -- esp. from a minority POTUS, at that. I have a Master's degree, very little religion, and a gun or two.

2Eagle: Go back to my Shakespeare.
(Returning your comment to TT at one of his sociopolitical parodies.)
Rob Arndt - August 17, 2012 - Report this comment
AFW, again thanks for a well-done parody with my type of topic! And to think, the Soviets could have gone with the Korobov TKB-408 instead: http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/assault/as73/korobov_tkb408.jpg
AFW - August 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, all for voting and clever commenting...and also, thanks to those who votus, with no commentus
Meriadoc - August 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow! Great job at fitting in every redneck stereotype imaginable (except for the jacks holding up the porch). Five cans of Billy Beer for ya!

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