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Song Parodies -> "The Beach Club (Reprise)"
Original Song Title:
"Loser"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Beck
Parody Song Title:
"The Beach Club (Reprise)"
Parody Written by:
Phil Ossifer
The Lyrics
A few months ago, I originally posted an entry about this obscure short film from 1928: “A totally-forgotten silent film produced by Mack Sennett Studios that stars Billy Bevan and features 18-year-old Carole Lombard as a jump-rope bathing girl, according to the IMDb”. Now it’s back and revised and even better than it was before! (Not really, no words have been changed) And according to the bottom comments, “This entire entry was copied from an 11-year-old boy’s essay.” Get ready to become hornier than you’ve ever been before. Simple as the day is long…
In the time of the 20’s, girls made men monkeys
Hormones in their veins and they’re playing hanky-panky
With the dark-wool swimsuits, glass on the gold beach sands,
Pretending this silly film’s relevant!
Look! There’s Carole, a “Jump-rope bathing girl”
One look at her and your willy goes out of control!
Babes at “The Beach Club” gettin’ vitamin D
Now your boxers got wet and you have a front seat.
Someone came in sayin' I'm insane to complain
About a hot-girl Beach Club and a stain on my shorts
“If you don’t like the girls, DON’T GAZE THEM!!”
You have a quick ejaculation and a sunburn on your sleeve
Skip the cheap sites with malware and Trojans,
That way, “there no viruses to enter your computer!”
(Yo, cut it!)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(Double-barrel buckshot)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
I went to Google, could not find a detail,
Scrubbed all the info with a phony search lawsuit
Then I searched with Bing — I know! And found a YouTube link,
Took five seconds, matters now in my own hands.
Skip the rerun shows and the cheap, trite nose-job
The daytime crap Hudson Jennifer plops,
Don’t hang yourself with a guitar string
I changed half of the words and Tuesday, it became Spring!
You can't write if you can't relate
Watch the film, see Carole, get excited, and that’s great,
I know what you’re thinking: “What the $&@?’s a Billy Bevan?”
Ask George & Germaine Briant!
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(My white stuff shoots like cheeze whiz)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(Heard of Franklin Pierce? Yo, bring it on down.)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(I can't believe you)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(You’re a moron, you know that?)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(Know what I'm sayin'?)
Hormones in their veins and they’re playing hanky-panky
With the dark-wool swimsuits, glass on the gold beach sands,
Pretending this silly film’s relevant!
Look! There’s Carole, a “Jump-rope bathing girl”
One look at her and your willy goes out of control!
Babes at “The Beach Club” gettin’ vitamin D
Now your boxers got wet and you have a front seat.
Someone came in sayin' I'm insane to complain
About a hot-girl Beach Club and a stain on my shorts
“If you don’t like the girls, DON’T GAZE THEM!!”
You have a quick ejaculation and a sunburn on your sleeve
Skip the cheap sites with malware and Trojans,
That way, “there no viruses to enter your computer!”
(Yo, cut it!)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(Double-barrel buckshot)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
I went to Google, could not find a detail,
Scrubbed all the info with a phony search lawsuit
Then I searched with Bing — I know! And found a YouTube link,
Took five seconds, matters now in my own hands.
Skip the rerun shows and the cheap, trite nose-job
The daytime crap Hudson Jennifer plops,
Don’t hang yourself with a guitar string
I changed half of the words and Tuesday, it became Spring!
You can't write if you can't relate
Watch the film, see Carole, get excited, and that’s great,
I know what you’re thinking: “What the $&@?’s a Billy Bevan?”
Ask George & Germaine Briant!
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(My white stuff shoots like cheeze whiz)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(Heard of Franklin Pierce? Yo, bring it on down.)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(I can't believe you)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(You’re a moron, you know that?)
Come down to The Beach Club,
“The girls looked beautiful—and the men looked longer!”
(Know what I'm sayin'?)
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
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| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 14 | 14 | 14 |
User Comments
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Holy cow, where do I even start? A) there isn’t a hint of wit in your stupid film. If this film any merit whatsoever, film buffs would be all over it like they are with The Garfield Movie. Instead, there were only two people who were ever interested in it: you and your fake Phil Ossifer. B) Anyone who's had the misfortune of slogging through one of your "parodies" would know better than to expect originality, let alone wit. I wouldn't doubt there are funnier phone books out there. And nobody cares about your geezer gals.
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This is view # 96
