Go to Hell,
Go to Hell,
Twenty-five hun-dred, there dwell
Town is neighborly, all say, how do?
And you'll say hi, as well
Michigan, state of fun,
Welcome mat for everyone
It will pacify the vicious,
And can grant you your three wishes

No red flames,
Just hot dames
Horseshoes, Putt Putt, summer games
If you're dining out, the food is super swell
With good will on the menu
No regretting when you
Go to Hell,
Stay a spell,
Go to Hell...

Not that far, but hey, hey,
So far out, a good time way
Clean fresh air - has small town flair,
Clint would declare, "It makes his day!"
Midwest zone,
Mapquest squared,
Greyhound bus and airline fared
There's fun spots entertaining,
Even lots to do when raining

Tourist fun,
It's enriched,
People come here to get hitched
You can have a super time, believe me, pal
Don't sit home in a rut,
C'mon get off of your butt
And crack that shell,
Why repel?
Bring your dear wife, or your gal
Go to Hell,
Go to Hell,
Go to Hell...

Land with flat observing,
Not a lot of hills and curving
If this territory's where you haven't gone..
Maybe now's the time to make that visit
Skip pipe dreams - don't sit around and yawn
You will see smiling people
Heading for a skyward steeple
In your heart you'll feel the glow of down home thrills
City folks may diss it,
But plain souls'll state, "Great, is it!"

Town's the best, beats the rest,
You'll attest, "Hell, I been blessed!"
Won't be bored is under-scored
You've found your cozy little nest..
Tell your friends, follow me
Stop the mail - turn off tv
Be as free as JR Ewing

See the cattle, hear 'em mooing
Best to go when it's hot,
In the winter, maybe not
An old Artic blast can cast a wicked spell
More of a summer treat
Will make your life complete
You might as well
Go to Hell, (Go to Hell)
Go to Hell..

East and west,
Same request,
From north, south, and all the rest
You can get there from just anywhere at all
So, be their guest..
Stay a week, or week-end
Not much money - need you spend
No big bills will you be owing
End of pitch, now let's get going

Mile by mile
Town by town,
Til you're on that Hello-ed ground
Phoned ahead for reservations on your cell
In your room - prop your feet up
Peek out, look the street up,
You're in Hell,
Lovely Hell....
Feeling swell..

Thank God...for...Hell..