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Song Parodies -> "Max Warp Views"

Original Song Title:

"I Love You"

Original Performer:

Barney and the Backyard Gang

Parody Song Title:

"Max Warp Views"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Star Trek Warp scale has been modified three times and still doesn't make much sense since it's been exceeded by many starships using excuse technologies and bizarre phenomena...
Max Warp views,
Cochrane Scale glee,
Warp 10 is Infinity speed
Warp 9.8 won't budge,
Or the core will be screwed,
Karla Five's vessel towed Enterprise at Warp 22!!!

Max warp views,
How to exceed,
Soliton Waves, slingshot gravity
Geordi goes ugh,
Always something to prove,
Average Warp safe in max 9.2...

Voyager at Warp 9.975 was just a fluke!!!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Jonathan - May 27, 2016 - Report this comment
good one Trekker! (did I say that right? it is Trekker isn't it?) 455
Rob Arndt - May 27, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Jon, but don't get me started on slipstream drive or jaunt ships!!!
Peter Andersson - May 27, 2016 - Report this comment
I actually didn't know that the scale had been changed or used differently several times, but ST Voyager was notoriously using the "reset" button, meaning advanced alien tech used in one episode was completely forgotten already the next week. One episode that comes to mind (though that one must be from The Next Generation) was when lieutenant Barclay, somehow on/from the holodeck, built the most advanced warp drive ever and in seconds moved the ship to the center of the galaxy/universe. Completely forgotten from thereon, obviously not documented even by the holodeck minutae recording capabilities.
Rob Arndt - May 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Barclay actually just used the warp nacelles to create a huge graviton wave which led to Subspace distortion jumping the Enterprise 30,000 light years!
Rob Arndt - May 28, 2016 - Report this comment
The TNG episode was 419 "The Nth Degree."
Peter Andersson - May 28, 2016 - Report this comment
OK. If you say so. But the fact that a 21th century human brain can remember such details makes it even more plotholic* that 24th century super computer filled ships failed to record how to use alien tech over and over and over again. :-P

* Had to invent that word for the comment!
Rob Arndt - May 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Barclay had used the Holodeck to interface with the ship's computer, but _He_ caused the Graviton-Subspace Effect himself. It took them to the Cythenians who not only returned the Enterprise back where it came from, but took away Barclay's powers. Nothing was recorded in the computer, but the Cythenians gave Picard 10 years of advanced tech to process!!! Where did that go? Starfleet basement?
Rob Arndt - May 28, 2016 - Report this comment
* Cytherians
Rob Arndt - May 28, 2016 - Report this comment
I believe in the ST franchise that Kirk's Enterprise hit Warp 11 after being modified by the Kelvans. Picard's Enterprise hit Warp 14 due to Kaladan sabotage causing core overload. And in The Animated Series, Karla Five's Warp 36 vessel towed Enterprise at Warp 22!!!

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