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Song Parodies -> "New to Choose"

Original Song Title:

"I Love You"

Original Performer:

Barney and the Backyard Gang

Parody Song Title:

"New to Choose"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Tired of the same old Star Wars Death Stars and Starkiller Base? Wait... there is the forgotten Sun Crusher fighter Grand Moff Tarkin had under construction at the MAW Installation awaiting orders that never came. It looks like a golden armored ice cream cone with turbo lasers and an energy resonance disc at the bottom. 11 internal resonance torpedos pass through the tube to the dish array that fires energy bolts into a star systems Sun. This destabilizes the core and causes a supernova. The fighter is covered in quantum crystalline armore that is impenetrable by any weapon. Seems much more formidable than the other Imperial/First Order weapons.
New to choose,
Sun Crusher forgotten WMD
GM Tarkin hush,
MAW Installation knew,
Quantum crystalline armor protects you...

New to choose,
'Gainst Resistance pleas,
Unleashing resonance energy
Destabilizing crush,
Star supernova blew,
Imperial weapon sure spells doom...

Will we see it in Ep. IX???
In post-SW books it was captured by Han Solo and spirited away, hidden in the dense gas clouds of Bespin AFAIK...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - April 15, 2016 - Report this comment
Sun Of A Crusher! (I know I know that's a pretty foul pun!) 455
John Lomain - April 17, 2016 - Report this comment
It'd be interesting if Barney had this as his theme song...
Rob Arndt - April 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Oops... This weapon was hidden on Yavin in poison gas clouds, not Bespin! My bad.

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