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Song Parodies -> "Meat Fooled You"

Original Song Title:

"I Love You"

Original Performer:

Barney and the Backyard Gang

Parody Song Title:

"Meat Fooled You"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Meat is only bloody when it's raw. When processed, the blood is removed leaving water and protein which contains myoglobin that oxygenates the muscles and carries iron (Fe) which gives the red color. When frozen, the water crystallizes and expands rupturing the meat so when it thaws the red juice is actually water and myoglobin, not blood. Even bloody rare steaks have no blood. More water and myoglobin. If cooked longer the cooked iron turns the red meat to brown.
Meat fooled you,
NOT bloody,
Juice is myoglobin, watery
So don't yell, "Yuck!"
XXX rare is still good food,
And more tender for you to chew!

Meat fooled you,
Butchery,
Blood removed before deep freeze
Processed as such,
Thawed and leaking a red goo,
It's not blood, you Vegan fools!!!

Water & myoglobin safe to consume...
Note: red meat is 75% water and 25% protein.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   1
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User Comments

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Jeff - June 06, 2017 - Report this comment
Bloody? good! 5's
Jonathan - June 06, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm not kidding, my brother just recently told me about this! what timing for a parody on the subject! 455
Rob Arndt - June 06, 2017 - Report this comment
Yes, it came as a surprise to me too as my brother and I used to eat raw, bloody meat at times for which our mom used to quote Jewish dietary law about the blood of an animal and it's soul- that OT biblical routine. I told her we were Gentiles, so it didn't apply, but got beat anyway. Btw, this is where all the Christian and Jewish animal haters claim that an animal's soul goes into the ground. No dogs or cats or other pets in heaven. They match it to Ecclesiastes as well. But they interpret this wrong. The Bible describes game animals that are for food and NOT pets that love us and Ecclesiastes only poses a question that's not answered. I believe I will be with my animals. Luke 1:37 for example.

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