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Song Parodies -> "Whites Love Mayo"

Original Song Title:

"I Love You"

Original Performer:

Barney and the Backyard Gang

Parody Song Title:

"Whites Love Mayo"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

No denying that White people love Mayonnaise (Best Foods, Kraft) while Blacks and Mexicans prefer hot sauce!
Whites love mayo,
Egg yolks, oil, vinegar- please
On celery, fries, sandwiches, and poultry
Black/Hispanic grudge,
No, mayonnaise will never do,
On eggs, and most minority ethnic foods!

White's love mayo,
Spread it with ease,
With my Chicken Spread sandwiches to eat!
Blacks prefer hot sauce,
Mexicans love that hot sh-t too,
On everything... but it can make you poop!!!

Black slaves used to hate that goo*
* mayonnaise came from Europe to the Colonies which used slaves in the South. Mayo spoils in hot weather and the Black slaves supposedly watched White folks eat all manner of food with the ruined stuff; hence, an aversion to mayonnaise! The racist view is that the substance like white bread is white which represents the White race!!!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Beyonce - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
I know what you mean. Hillary carrying hot sauce was just a ploy to get my black vote. I stayed home and used BLis Blast Bourbon Barrel-Aged Hot Pepper Sauce on my ribs! Honey, hot sauce is da bomb. See whitebread Britney Spears for mayo! Oops, she ate it again!
Dom Sparks - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
I dunno about the premise here. I grew up white as they get and yet dad always had a bottle of Tabasco sauce around. Long before that red rooster hot sauce and the stereotyping of Mexicans, Blacks, and Asians hating mayonnaise and using hot sauce. You might add that as far as I can tell, white people also love horseradish.
White Guy - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
Nothing like a big fat juicy chicken sandwich with cheese and eXXXtra mayo with a fresh lettuce leaf and a fat tomato! Yeah, I'm White. 5's
Jonathan - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
not this white dude. but hey, to each their own! actually, it's been joked that I could've been black, due to my love of fried chicken & watermelon! 455
CML - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
I deny loving mayo. I'm a mayonaisse denier. On my last supper before moving out of the house, my mother tempted me twice with mayo and I denied her thrice. I hate the stuff; it's a form of culinary Kryptonite for me. The stuff looks like semen, for crying out loud. Seriously, whoever the gastronomic delusionary was that "came up" with the stuff should be sent off to a clinic
Rob Arndt - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
One origin story, repeated in countless secondary sources, holds that the condiment was born in 1756 after French forces under the command of Duke de Richelieu laid siege to Port Mahon, on the Mediterranean island of Minorca, now a part of Spain, in the first European battle of the Seven Years’ War. The Duke’s chef, upon finding the island lacked the cream he needed for a righteous victory sauce, invented an egg and oil dressing dubbed mahonnaise for its place of birth. (Another version claims the chef learned the recipe from island residents.)
~ Slate
George Take @ CML - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
Oh my! Time to come out of the closet with that tuna fish sandwich I saw you eating from Subway last week. I was in line and definitely heard you ask for extra mayo, lettuce, and two tomatoes with pepper sprinkled on them! It's nothing to be ashamed of,
Cliché Man - May 01, 2017 - Report this comment
As a real white man, I take my mayonnaise straight. After one large jar of Hellmann's, I was rushed to The Mayo Clinic. Everybody's thoughts and prayers went out to me, and it turns out that time has healed all wounds. The cloud had a silver lining that signaled all’s well that ends well.
CML @ George Takei - May 02, 2017 - Report this comment
Belay that last rumor, Helmsman. You'll not "smear" me as a closet mayo ingester (badoom tssh) .. not even in jest. Fact is, I've been forcibly removed innumerable times from Subway shops for yellin "And you better DAMN WELL hold the effin' MAYO if you know what's good for you!!" .. even though the only thing I ever order at Subway is the six inch Meatball Sub
CML @ CM - May 02, 2017 - Report this comment
Some years ago, I had a life threatening condition whose only cure was total stem sell replacement therapy. And even though my insurance plan would have re-imbursed me 150% if I had gone to the Mayo Clinic, and even though a Mayo Clinic is only about a mile away from where I live I said "Hold the Mayo. Just take me to that fly by night urgent care center on the other side of town that's run by the Russian Mafia. Anywhere but a place named after mayonaisse
George Takeii @ CML - May 02, 2017 - Report this comment
SIX inches of meat you say? Oh my!!!
CML - May 02, 2017 - Report this comment
^^The hell, George, you're easily amused, aren't you? Have you always been that way? Never met anyone who got so excited over a freakin' Subway sandwich, Sheesh! ... with the possible exception of that Jared Fogle guy
@George Takei - May 02, 2017 - Report this comment
When you order pizza, is it the meat lovers type?

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