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Song Parodies -> "Bomber Blues"

Original Song Title:

"I Love You"

Original Performer:

Barney and the Backyard Gang

Parody Song Title:

"Bomber Blues"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Only 50% of the USAF bomber force of B-52s, B-1s, and B-2s are operational at any given time which is not only sad, but dangerous to national security. Of the mere 20 B-2s only 9 are ready to go at any given time. While the future looks like UCAVs and even aerial carriers with them, the Northrop B-3 is in the works. No longer stealth prioritized, it is designed for long range and heavy carry of bombs, missiles, and possibly possessing defensive or offensive laser tech (HELs). A blended body design, it is projected for 2030 which is a long time away. Russia has the Sukhoi PAKDA and a rival Tupolev design in the works for an earlier IOC despite sanctions. China is also building a stealth bomber of independent design.
Bomber blues,
Need B-3,
Existing planes need servicing
50% is not much,
Modernization overdue,
At any time only 9 B-2s
... can fly!

Bomber blues,
Fleet aging,
B-52 is still amazing
But longevity crunch,
Carpet bombing rarely used,
Can't carry MOAB or MOP to use!!!

MC-130 transport is substitute...sigh...
Note: MOAB is roughly 11 tons. In WW2, Germany tried a 17.7 ton bomb dropped by a Me-323 which broke apart after the drop. The Russian "Father of All Bombs" thermobaric weapon is an incredible 44 tons. It is doubtful that the Tu-160 could carry it but the Russian giant Antonov transports can with ease.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - April 17, 2017 - Report this comment
"insert bomb-related pun, so long as it's not "da bomb!" again here." 455
CML - April 17, 2017 - Report this comment
^^^ Ba da BOOM!!
Patrick - April 18, 2017 - Report this comment
Each B-2 is its own squadron. Separate hanger for each plane. Visited Whiteman Air Force Base in Knob Noster, Missouri for an air show several years ago. As the show wrapped up, several of the B-2's began making touch and go landings. The planes are also deployed to make flyovers of Kansas City Chiefs and Kansas City Royals games. Weird sound and very strange appearance, not like anything else in the air.

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