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Song Parodies -> "If The Pentagon Paid It Back"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had One Million Dollars"

Original Performer:

Barenaked Ladies

Parody Song Title:

"If The Pentagon Paid It Back"

Parody Written by:

Arch Vile

The Lyrics

Here was an interesting story I had come across last year, but I think will have great bearing on U.S. government spending in the future. It turns out that the Pentagon had failed its first audit since the early 90's and there is $21 Trillion that has not been accounted for. RT America broke the news. Look it up for yourself. Point your fingers at any president from Clinton to Trump as to who dropped the ball here. If this was a private comp., there would be layoffs and companies going Chapter 11. Now a public entity missing that money still gets to keep going. I know it's necessary but really. Forget fighting wars as a government waste, how about missing funds. Anyway, I wrote this parody from one of the few songs about dollar figures. The next time you hear a news story about more defense spending (at the federal level), keep this song and the figure in your mind.
(Verse 1)
If the Pentagon paid It back (If the pentagon paid it back)
They’ll be more money flow (Never seen this much flow)
And if the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
Academic freedom starts to grow (Whether its the Ivy league or a state college)
And if the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
Well we wouldn’t need a war (Don’t need to see coffins laced with flags)

(Chorus)
And if the Pentagon paid it back, We’d all be riiiiiich
If the Pentagon paid it back
Then we’d have medicare for all
If the Pentagon paid it back
Sanders dream would only end up small
If the Pentagon paid it back
Maybe we could put our infrastructure system on track

(Post-Chorus)
It would make a lot more sense wouldn’t it
Just going over bridges and more smooth driving
Can’t see any potholes or sinkholes,
Maybe some mad driving a**holes
Buildings that can stand up to most things, Yeah

(Verse 2)
If the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
We wouldn’t hear about ghettos (Don’t need to see, graf-fiti tags)
And if the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
We could afford to live in cities (Housing prices would be more fair)
And if the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
We will trash money printing machines (Oops, looks like we created lost jobs)

(Chorus 2)
And if the Pentagon paid it back, We’d all be riiiiiich
If the Pentagon paid it back
There’d be more satellites in the sky
If the Pentagon paid it back
Define impossible, you could not try
If the Pentagon paid it back
We wouldn’t need the fast food market

(Post-Chorus 2)
Well not for us in the 1st world anyway
Since it would be valued at almost garbage
But it’s a new venture for the 3rd world
Franchises, feed them

(Verse 3)
If the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
Solar panels for all homes (Don’t need electricity here)
If the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
Robots taking most jobs (Only maintenance to fix them up)
If the Pentagon paid it back (If the pentagon paid it back)
Tombstones made of solid gold (Pretty fancy for an average joe)

(Chorus 3)
If the Pentagon paid it back, We’d all be riiiiiiich
If the Pentagon paid it back (If the Pentagon paid it back)
If the Pentagon paid it back (If the Pentagon paid it back)
If the Pentagon paid it back
Buy the earth
The Ok Breaking project still continues. The post-chorus rambles were tricky to hit here.

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alexander's ragtag band - January 13, 2019 - Report this comment
Not Trump. "While the documents are incomplete, original government sources indicate $21 trillion in unsupported adjustments have been reported for the Department of Defense and the Department of Housing and Urban Development for the years 1998-2015."
Arch Vile - January 14, 2019 - Report this comment
Thank's for clearing that up. I guess the story was older than I thought, since I heard about it last year.

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