It's-been,-one-week-since-"Felicity"
20-minutes-ago, it-was-"Maury"
Five-days-since-Riverdance
Right-now-I'm-watchin'-Hobbit's-try-to-run-Bree
It's been,-three-days-since-PBS
I-wish-"JEOPARDY"-would-end-real-soon-now
Yesterday,-it-was-"Will & Grace"
But_-right-now-I_-really-wanna-finish-my-Maury...

Change-the-channel-on-the-tv, you-won't believe-me
You'll-think-you-just-saw-a-space-man
I'm-watchin'-fish-on-the-'dish...(Hey look! A'Nike-swish!)
I-_don't-_like-_anime, 'cause-it's not-real-Ameri-can
Hot-like-"Survivor"; It's-on-the-prime-time, an'I bus'-crime
'Cause-it's-all-about...BATMAN
CBS-has-some-bad-hits, I'm-cookin'-real-grits
Just-look-at-my-fryin'-pan!

On-"COPS"-throw'a-brick-at'a-chick-'cause-I'm-quick
Really-sick-_in'a-flick
I-like-"M.A.S.H.", it's-the-finest-of-the-programs
I-gotta-see-the-show, then-I'll-know
Jerry-Springer's-gonna'-go
It's-so-violent
Their-IQ-is-a-milligram

How-can-I-help-it-if-I-think-the-plot's-really-bad?
Tryin'-hard-not-to-smile-but-I'm-not-glad
I'm-the-kind-of-guy-that-laugh's-at-"South Park"
Can't-understand-what'I-mean?
Well, it's-gettin'-dark
I-have-a-tendency-to-watch-late-NBC
I-like-to-read-my-TV-Guide...

It's-been...One-week-since "Felicity"
Twenty-minutes-ago, Mr. Rogers
Five-days-since-"Mail Call"
'An-I-have-all-those-letters-upon-my-wall
It's-been-three-days-since-"A&E"
Ten-seconds-ago, I checked-my-tv
Yesterday,-it-was-VH1
As-I sit'an-watch-a-special-on-ATARI

Jus'-look-at-the-time-the-clock-is-tickin'
Watchin'-horror-flicks, now-Hannibal's-lickin'
Watchin'-"C.S.I."-now-the-plot's-done
It's-NRA-fun!
I-jus'-hope-that-he's-alright
Like-Cap'n-Kirk, I'm-a-good-guy
Like-"Psycho", jus'-die
Hey,-I'm-here-jus'-to-satisfy

Like-Kemosabi-I'm-a-ranger
I'm-no-stranger
Like-Bruce-Lee-I'd-be'a-Samurai
Scooby-Doo's-smoking-bad-drugs
I-like-Apu's-rugs
I'm-watchin'-golf; bad-back-swing
I'm-afraid-of-the-Blade, 'cause-the-comic's-got-it-made
'An-it-makes-me-think-the-wrong-things

How-can-I-help-it-if-I-think-the-plot's-really-bad?
Tryin'-hard-not-to-smile-but-I'm-not-glad
I'm-the-kind-of-guy-that-laugh's-at-"South Park"
Can't-understand-what'I-mean?
Well, it's-gettin'-dark
I-have-a-tendency-to-watch-late-NBC
I-like-to-read-my-TV-Guide...

It's-been, one-week-since-"Felicity"
Dropped-down-in-the-slots-ta'numba-fifty
Five-days, since-the-Super-Bowl
Half-time-this-year's-been-kinda'-droll
Three-days, since-"The West Wing"
We-knew-it kinda-sucked, but-what-could-we-do?
Yesterday, I-didn't-watch-tv
'Cause-it'd-still-be-two-days-'till-I-watch-my-"Maury"

It'll-still-be-two-day-'till-I-play-ATARI
It'll-still-be-two-day-'till-we-play-SORRY
Let's-go-on-holiday, go-on-safari...