Song Parodies -> "If I Had A Million Dollars - Football Style"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had A Million Dollars"

Original Performer:

Barenaked Ladies

Parody Song Title:

"If I Had A Million Dollars - Football Style"

Parody Written by:

Allison & Jen

The Lyrics

Same great song but filled with NFL comments. Enjoy.

If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a coach
(I would buy you a coach)
If I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a quarterback for your coach
(Maybe a nice Pennington or Vick)
And if I had a $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you a David-Carr
(A nice Reliant rookie QB)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your fannnnnnnnns.

If I had a $1000000
I'd build a stadium in our yard
If I had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had $1000000
Maybe we could put like a talented football team in there
You know, they could just go out and win
Like make the playoffs or something
There would be already laid out uni's for us
Like little division champs t-shirts and things
(ya know, they have division champs t-shirts but they don't have wildcard t-shirts)

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a defense
(But not a bad defense that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic cheerleader
(Like a llama or an emu)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had a $1000000)
I'd buy you Johnny U's remains
(All them crazy quarterback bones)
And If I had $1000000 I'd buy your fannnnnnnnnnns.

If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to have a high pick
If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to 'cuz we'd have Vick
If I had a $1000000
We wouldn't have to drink bad Powerade
But we would but we'd drink bad Powerade
Of course we would, we'd just drink more
And buy really expensive ice cubes with it
That's right, all the fanciest dijon ice cubes
Mmmmmm

If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you an offense
(But not a bad offense, that's cruel)
And if I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some rings
(A Superbowl or a telephone)
If I had $1000000
(If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a druggie
(Haven't you always wanted a druggie?)

If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
I'd would win

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Laura K - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment

AHAHAHAHAHA! Reminded me of The cardinal, I can picture them sitting imagining what they'd do with more money, like it would help them, bah, I'm so glad I'm not a football fan The Cardinals would make me commit Seppuku! Good song! three 5s! Though I imagine you would need more than 1 million dollars to do much for a football team

Josh 2 - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment

I think it was horrible.

Mach - October 03, 2012 - Report this comment

You should work on your grammar a bit. It's funny and well-paced though. Oh, and having $1M doesn't guarantee anything. It also depends on the owner.

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