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Song Parodies -> "Can't Have It That Way"

Original Song Title:

"I Want It That Way"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Backstreet Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Have It That Way"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Unity Valkyrie Mitford was born in Britain in 1914 to a wealthy aristocratic family. She became an English socialite who became a devotee of Adolf Hitler and displayed her support of Nazism openly in Britain and Germany since 1936. She decided to meet Hitler as he mingled with the Volk in the early years and so sat everyday at the Osteria Bavaria restaurant in Munich until Hitler invited her to his table after 10 months of waiting! They became friends and were often seen together (even with Eva Braun present)! Hitler gave her an engraved golden swastika badge, prime seats at the 1936 Olympics, and rides in his Mercedes. But after she asked him about marriage, he turned her down- still maintaining that he must remain celibate for all the German womens’ admiration while still seeing Eva secretly. Unity was considered a traitor and Anti-Semite in Britain for meeting with Julius Streicher and making Anti-Semitic speeches, giving Nazi salutes at home and abroad. Hitler had warned her of impending war with Britain and suggested that she return home, but instead she took a pearl-handled pistol (given to her by Hitler) and shot herself in the head upon Britain’s declaration of war on Germany Sept 3, 1939. She spent time in neutral Switzerland recovering from attempted suicide and then was secretly moved back to Britain in 1943 as a broken woman. She survived the war, but died in 1948 of head injuries from the lodged bullet. Because of her family, the British public are divided over her to this day… brainwashed young woman infatuated with Hitler as an idol or a real Nazi advocate?
[Hitler]

You are, blonde fire
Verboten, desire
Believe me
When I state,
“Can’t have it that way”

Since we, are two worlds apart
Must be kept apart
Marriage? Hey!
Even Eva (Braun) still does wait!

[Chorus:]
(Valkyrie)
Is nothing but a headache
(Valkyrie)
But still a Brit-Blonde hot date
Valkyrie
Osteria (Bavaria) everyday?
No way that we can mate!

I AM, your fire!
Worship, my power!
Yes I know, it's too late
But we’ll share the same fate!!!

[Mod Chorus:]
(Valkyrie)
Is nothing but a headache
(Valkyrie)
But still a Brit-Blonde hot date
Valkyrie
In Germany you cannot stay
A new war is on its way

Now I can see that we're growing apart
Aryan ideal of such beauty, Ja!
No matter the outrage
I want you to know
That I think of you secretly...

You are, blonde fire
Verboten, desire
You are
(You are, you are, you are)

BRITISH!!!

I really hate to say
You’re nothing but a headache
But still a Brit-Blonde hot date
(No way that we can mate)
A new war is on its way (Too bad)
We’ll share the same fate

[Mod Chorus II:]
(Valkyrie)
Is nothing but a headache
(Valkyrie)
But still a Brit-Blonde hot date
Valkyrie
Time spent in my Mercedes (Ja, we had some fun dates)
Marriage? No way!!!

(Valkyrie)
You’re nothing but a headache
But still a Brit-Blonde hot date
Valkyrie
Hate to see you go away (Eva Braun to be my mate)
U, what can I say?

Just can’t have it that way…
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/38/33/9c/38339cb7b2a44b3f8c616376bb5d822d.jpg

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   0
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 4   1
 0
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 5   6
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User Comments

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Jonathan - November 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Gute Arbeit Mit Diesem! 5's
Turtle Tom - November 18, 2013 - Report this comment
essen Scheit! eines's
Oswald Mosely - November 19, 2013 - Report this comment
My sister-in-law Unity bragged to me that Hitler picked up the check at that first meeting in the Osteria Bavaria. What a generous, sweet guy he was!
Wife Diana Mitford Mosely and I send you a big, posthumous mmmwah and a Heil.
Calmelennie - November 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Achtungen sie nicht auf die Trollengruppen, Robert. (Oops, Rob) Using a Back Street boys tune to "honor" a pathologically confused British woman is a stroke of genius that could have only come from you. Ein dreier von funfen!!!
Callmelenne - November 19, 2013 - Report this comment
By the way, did you check out the epic 17 one-bomb raid that the Troll-waffe conducted on my song thread over the weekend? From this moment forward, I will refer to it as the Battle of "Lennie-grad" I would have thought the trolls would have needed to ground their fleet of Stukas at least for a few days just to do routine maintenance. But no, they are already up and flying again
Rob Arndt - November 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks Jon and CML! My parody is not really honoring UVM, but making fun of her from Hitler's POV. I think she was just infatuated and frustrated that she couldn't be Hitler's wife (or mistress). Very little info is known about her relations but at least a few sources claim she had sex with Hitler... (?)!!! Anyway, I don't follow the comments box everyday but DID see your Mau Mau comment about Obama which inspired me to do the Mau Mau rifle parody (another hand mine)! And I did my own ACA short version with Willie Nelson's OTRA. Look for two odd songs tomorrow on military topics/controversy!

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