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Song Parodies -> "Army Girl"

Original Song Title:

"Barbie Girl"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Army Girl"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

[Drill Sergeant]: Private Kenny!
[Solider]: Yes, Sir!
[Drill Sergeant]: Did you come here to die?!
[Solider]: No, Sir!
[Drill Sergeant]: Listen…

[Drill Sergeant]
I’m an Army Girl, Come and hop these hurdles!
That’s right maggots! Clean your barracks!
Hear me shout and swear, Show me your war face glares!
Fight for your nation, This ain’t no vacation!

In the Army! Brave and Hearty!

[Drill Sergeant]
I’m an Army Girl! Does blood make you hurl?!
Learn these tactics! War is graphic!
Break into their lair and have them say their prayers!
What is your mission? Fire ammunition!

I’m a Drill Sergeant girl, Soaked in spit when I snarl
Crawl through muck, make you march, can’t be lazy

Trained to maul from fox holes, While our armor gets stained
See you sneer “Are you scared?! Need your mommy?!?!”

[Drill Sergeant]
Grab your gun, Time to slay
Might be sprayed with blood and gore, Whoa-oh!

I’m an Army Girl! Watch you fairies twirl!
You’re pathetic! Breath is septic!
Shaved off all your hair! You couldn’t make mice scared!
There’s aggravation in my exclamations!

In the Army! No tea party!
Hup! Two! Three! Four!
In the Army! Here for harming!
Explode! Explode!
In the Army! Not too charming!
Hup! Two! Three! Four!
In the Army! Don’t start squirming!
Explode! Explode!

Shotguns cocked! Grenades launched! Go and load up that tank!
You might get a few scars, You’re not Beetle Bailey

This dumb grin better split or you’ll go bust my lip
Need a frown there’s no clowns in the Army!

[Drill Sergeant]
You’ll be punched in the face
Till you’re trained to make a corpse
Better clutch that sharp blade
When you’re made to go use force

In the Army! Must stay tidy!
Hup! Two! Three! Four!
In the Army! Strong and sturdy!
Explode! Explode!
In the Army! Soaked and muddy!
Hup! Two! Three! Four!
In the Army or the Navy!
Explode! Explode!

I’m an Army Girl! Uncle Sam’s a pearl!
You need practice! This is madness!
Combat boots you’ll wear and shine them till they glare!
Those confrontations lead to amputations!

I’m an Army Girl! Give that gun a swirl!
Suck that gut in! Human huntin’
Privates, Grow a pair! You’re crying when bombs blare!
My irritation, What’s your malformation?!

In the Army! They’ll be sorry!
Hup! Two! Three! Four!
In the Army! On a gurney!
Explode! Explode!
In the Army! Ain’t it gnarly?!
Hup! Two! Three! Four!
In the Army! Please no Pauly*!
Explode! Explode!

[Drill Sergeant]
Oh, Love the smell of napalm!

The Army, Oh man its game over!

[Drill Sergeant]
Oh, I love this land!
* As in Pauly Shore who starred in the god-awful movie "In The Army Now" (1994)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   18

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
:) Could almost be there..
Matthias - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Totally spelled "Soldier" wrong... Oops!!!
Rob Arndt - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Reminds me of the Private Benjamin movies (Goldie Hawn and Jessica Simpson)! 555! Training methods a bit outdated though. More tech today...
Matthias - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob: I based this parody mostly on Full Metal Jacket I'll need to check out the Private Benjamin movies though since I am a pretty big movie buff.
Rob Arndt - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Because you had a female DS, that reminded me of the Pvt Benjamin movies which like G.I. Jane were horrible! Please spare yourself the agony of bad movies. As far as training goes it sounded like you were describing older training. The modern US Army teaches more CQB, familiarity with terrorist tactics, insurgencies, peacekeeping, miltech advances, and dealing with female soldiers moving towards direct combat roles.The concept of female DS is good, but I have no idea how many teach males. In Israel, female IDF instructiors are highly valued, especially the female sniper and tank instructors!
Blaydeman - July 10, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This was a lot of fun. You rhymes were off the charts funny. THis song gets pretty repetitive, but you did an amazing job avoid that pitfall. Modern day accurate? No, but who cares? It was funny, fun, and extremely well written. No complaints here. And I really liked that your Drill Sergeant was female.
Max Power - July 10, 2015 - Report this comment
Just throw in Goren and we're good to go (due to his actor playing the dude who snapped in FMJ).
Agrimorfee - July 14, 2015 - Report this comment
This was a hoot...the only person I could see singing your version would be Jane Lynch as her character from Wreck It Ralph! Highly original concept, wasn't what I expected by the title.
Abbott Skelding - July 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Nicely done! A lot of great rhymes and some mighty funny stuff. Good job!
bobpiecheese - July 14, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) It's sad that I was able to tell this was perfectly paced just from memory. On the plus side, that means I don't have to listen to the damn song ;) Fantastic parody here, can easily imagine Sergeant Calhoun performing this. 555 pushups!

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