Sometimes we make it harder than it is
We walk up to a girl
Then vomit 'til our insides gush out
That's when we rush out
Of the house, thinking we'll never date
Sometimes with COVID she won't ever come on out
Why is she so unkind?
Girl, the virus is practically gone
She just sits back and yawns
She says there is an answer
If we can't find a girlfriend

That's what Tinder's for
To help with dating
That's what Tinder's for
No more masturbating
Shut down the TikTok
Or else I'll start to pickpock-
Et your horny pleated shorts
Baby, that's what Tinder's for

When I go walking and a girl smiles at me
I stare back at my phone
And text that chick from South Uruguay
So much stuff I can say
We're living in a bright age
And when we're married, we'll say

That's what Tinder's for
A ten-year project
That's what Tinder's for
Let nothing in-trah-ject
Please bless the people
Who have never exposed pee-holes
Let them find their Mary Tyler Moore
Baby, that's what Tinder's for

She says there is an answer
If we can't find the girl

That's what Tinder's for
It's especially for the Jews
That's what Tinder's for
It's annoying Fox News
Round off the lovers
Swipe left if you like others
This is how we stop the Ukraine War
Baby, that's what Tinder's for

That's what Tinder's for
That's what Tinder's for
So get off AmIRight
Dot Com if you want some light
Girls are waiting evermore
Baby, that's what Tinder's for
That's what Tinder's for
That's what Tinder's for
No more masturbating
Press on with your dating