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Song Parodies -> "Razor"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Alice In Chains

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

(Ayyy! Ayy!!)
Which razor to buy?
Thousand brands to try
Get the ones' that's cheap
Value pack at least

Schick, man? Bic, man? Shick, man? Bic man? (AAHHHHH!!!)

This one's got a grip, yet hard to steer
Shaving nick has been my biggest fear
Ehhh, what's the difference, I'll try
Ahhh, with this thick beard of mine

(Boo-ya, boo-ya!)
Wake up 6:05
Squinting both my eyes
Lather up my face
Don't use the toothpaste!

Slick, man! Slick, man! Slick, man! Slick man! (AAHHHH!!!)

Go against the grain, now pushing fear
Trying hard not to lop off my ear
Ah, I'm just an ave'rage guy
Ahhh, with this thick beard of mine

(spoken: Yeah, I muck through it daily, to shave facial hair
I feel faint, I'm such a twerp
I bled on my shirt already!)

Oops, I nicked a zit!
Bleeding now, oh spit!
Seeing crazy spots!
Must sit down, on the pot!

(spoken: I must use toilet paper, such invention
It cannot wipeout the mark of klutziness I gave me
Old Spice burns--I'll just pat lightly--with the pain
Can I take it?)

(MacCauley Culkin in Home Alone:)

(Yipe! Yipe!)
Maybe Braun to buy
Or Norelco, try
Flattened blades are wide
On a smooth face glide

Nicked, man! Nicked, man! Nicked, man! Nicked, man!

I got a good grip, but still can't steer
Shaving cuts are still my biggest fear
Ahh, maybe Nair is what I'll try
Ehhh, on this thick beard of mine!

Copyright 2007, Agrimorfee. Parody is the slice of life.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   20

User Comments

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Matthias - November 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Such a painful tune. Oh, the topic is also painful...5's
Red Ant - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I get the feeling you liked this song, because you did an excellent job on it. Perfect pacing, format and the spoken part was placed perhaps better than even my own when I did this song. Great job capturing the vocal inflections, too, a key to most AiC songs. This one might be a cut above the rest... 555
Agrimorfee - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
The multiple time signatures and verses were what attracted me to this. Didn't hate the song, but it's no "Comfortably Numb", either. :)
bobpiecheese - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Hair-larious!
Rex - November 21, 2007 - Report this comment
555 styptic pencils for you. Maybe it's time to go electric?
Below Average Dave ( - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) To be honest Agri, I don't even think there is a question on this round, you win hands down for me. I hate all razors, I really wish I could just let it go to be honest, but I look awful with a lot of facial hair. . .
Smeg And The Heads - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but you've perfectly captured my feelings at having to scrape my face every smegging morning ... nicely done
Agrimorfee - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I was going to use this as my intro to the parody-- "Many women bleed every 28 days...some men bleed every weekday!"
Peter Andersson - December 14, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Anecdote time: One of our male political leaders over here set himself up to be ridiculed by critizing the porn industri on detail about hair removal fashion trends in it, then of course getting questioned life on television whether or not he himself shaved his balls or not, a totally fair question during the let's-all-tag-along circumstances. Now we have T-shirts saying "Real men shave their balls with grinding machines, whick I doubt would make much sense anywhere else, he-he! :-)
Matthias - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
-Originality (A): This a department you never have a problem in. You can take the simplest stuff and make a parody out of them. In this case shaving, a thing I do almost every other day, and I never though about doing a parody about it. So it takes a twisted mind to accomplish something like this. Good job. -Pacing (A): Spot on. It's complete, even with the barely audible spoken part. -Comedy (B+): The hard part about doing a parody about everyday things is that it's pretty ordaniry, but you used a lot of things to make this larger than life. For example, the Home Alone referance. -Overall (B+): It's a pretty good parody, to a song, and a band that are both really difficult to parody, and I should know how this song is in terms of parodying it.
unKnownVoter - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
No razors in this house ~ smoothBunny!
Guy - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM-NOV) No Schick puppy here. Don't care for the OS but your version I like.
Max Power - December 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Razor sharp 5s
Jason - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Try a Braun Pulsonic, they leave your skin really smooth...
stuart mcarthur - December 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) and while you're doing "Alice" and shaving parodies, why not follow up with Alice Cooper's "Only Women Bleed" - you milked the theme thoroughly and beautifully here Ag - 555
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above! And, amazingly, the security code is 555! Well if that isn't an omen, I don't know what is!
Below Average Dave ( - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What more can I say, I gave my very approving comment already.
Kristof Robertson - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Gillette-tastic, Agri. Not a big AIC fan, but you nailed this. A highly relateable topic given an original spin. 555+
Mikey Squirrel - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- I'm not big on AIC either, but this was really good, Agri. I hate shaving so much, so I can relate.
Phil Alexander - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Seeing as Red Ant nicked my "cut above" comment (and not by a whisker), I'll have to say I empathise with the sentiment - I can't stand shaving, either. (Hold on a sec... ISTM there's a Police parody in there somewhere)
Jeff Reuben - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice cut...glad this one didn't get stached away
Jack Wilson - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Awesome job,5s
mark Scotti - September 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) sharp use of words. A "cut' above the rest!
Guy - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment

Ag - Sorry I mixed you up with COP.

You've got your stubbles, I've got mine...

Oops wrong OS again.

It was mandatory that I stayed cleanly shaven the entire time I was in the military. I have not shaved my face since I got out. And no I don't look like ZZ-Top - I keep it neatly trimmed.

Great write Ag. The only way it could be improved upon would be to dumb down the grammar a bit.. =;-) I just gotta jab ya back there buddy - this is starting to get to be fun with the grammar war going on. I say To-May-Toe you say No-Way-O. Fine write and very 5 worthy, sir.
DJ Blaze - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
This was markingly hilarious!!! 555
Matthias - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Don't use the toothpaste! was a hilarious line Agrimorfee! This parody is the best a man can get!
Below Average Dave - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
I wish I could afford laser hair removal. . .and stop using razors. . .a tougher round, but still should make my top 5 no problem. . .still really enjoyed this one
bobpiecheese - October 02, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) See above (again)!
Leo Keough - October 02, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(QR) Great job on a difficult OS!!!...555!!!
Stuart McArthur - October 02, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) my above comment was cleverer than this one will be, but I can't help thinking the problem could easily be solved by setting the alarm for 5.58. Trademark neat idea out of left-field Ag - 555
Red Ant - October 03, 2009 - Report this comment
See above; it was great to revisit this one !
Melanie Lee - October 04, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Not bad, not bad! A few good laughs. Is that stubble on my chin! $5.55 for a couple of packs of razors!

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