"I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
A younger version of me
Is he perverted like me?
Would he go suck your ***** in old Soho?
Does he speak eloquently
And would you have his baby?
I'm sure he's one really bad mofo!

Cause the promise you made that we'd go to the prom
Wasn't able to make it true for you to actually go, no
And everytime you speak his name
Does he know that your bud is a stud who would hold
you till you died?
and he's a still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you turned me down
It's not fair to deny me
Of the prom when you said you would go with me!
You, you, you silly ho!

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me li'l ms. Duplicity?
I hate to write this on the day before Easter
It was a slap on the face the way that I was replaced
by some preppy boy motherf**ker!

Cuz I'm nice boy Roy and he's Ass-whip McGee
And he'll hurt you in the end and you know it
And everytime I have to be my own best friend
cuz I don't have a girl..
I hope you feel it ...can you feel it??? :P

Ha!

And I hope you remember
of the Jester today as I write this song
you may think
you made the right choice
but I bet his ain't 8 inches long
ha, ha, you silly ho!"