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Song Parodies -> "Owner Of A Lonely Jart"

Original Song Title:

"Owner Of A Lonely Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Yes

Parody Song Title:

"Owner Of A Lonely Jart"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

If you are non-North American you may ask "What's a Jart?". It's a giant lawn dart, lobbed underarm into a grounded target. Just think 'Quoits', but much easier to take an eye out...

A low-bitrate mp3 of the song can be found here.
Skewer yourself
They may graze skin like knife
Sever, spiking, may need sutures
Groove yourself
A spar the wound it makes
‘Til an ord’nance banned diversure
Seek on shelf:
Now none with points they make
If some flew now that's illegal play
Dark - sneaky stealth
For this amuse’ partake
Now I’m hoarding those...

Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts

Danger prone, but you’ll chance it!
True - it hurts when it gores
Toss it now...
Illegally deny
Watch advance as jart is flown-ly
“You’ll hurt yourself”
Not if steps back we take
Yeah, they’re all dweebs at C.P.S.C.
It don’t help
To over-regulate
Reaction: knee-jerk, with speed

Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jart
Owner of the only jarts

Owner of those *naughty* jarts

Under my own supervision
No excuses though
Avoiding sever - best to be on the ball
In the end you've got to show
‘Sponsibility
And don't you shoot but straight at all – or you’re...

(Insert jart piercing the new siding music here)

Owner of a wayward jart
Owner of a boning jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts

Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts

Owner of a lonely jart!

Sooner or later legislations
Will discern my lonely jart
For they delight, but that’s a plight
Please don’t diss the mega-dart

Won't receive your free will to maul
Want to heave, and holes drill, in lawn
I’ll get peeved if there’s jart recall
Just reprieve it
Just reprieve it

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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McKludge - July 03, 2008 - Report this comment
I had those things when I was a kid. We never hurt ourselves with them, but we never purposely hurled them at someone.
AFW - July 03, 2008 - Report this comment
I used to like lawn darts..but like all fun items, Yeah, Big Brother decided we needed protection from ourselves, and dummied 'em up...when, in contrast, serious objects like guns are all over the place...no soft bullets, here....unique theme, and well spoofed.
alvin - July 03, 2008 - Report this comment
ah yes...the jart....we used to throw them at each other while flying down "slip n slides" ...you make a good point here
Ann Hammond - July 03, 2008 - Report this comment
he he
dwc - July 03, 2008 - Report this comment
;) Love it!
mandamoo - July 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Maybe you could join Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Jarts Club...? Don't think we had them here - good job though!
Meriadoc - July 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Recently my mom had her siding replaced. I insisted that the siding guys carefully cut out and save the piece with the jart-hole, put there by my former sister-in-law, ca. 1966.... :-)

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