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Song Parodies -> "Owner Of A Lonely Jart"
Original Song Title:
"Owner Of A Lonely Heart"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Yes
Parody Song Title:
"Owner Of A Lonely Jart"
Parody Written by:
Merry & Pippin
The Lyrics
If you are non-North American you may ask "What's a Jart?". It's a giant lawn dart, lobbed underarm into a grounded target. Just think 'Quoits', but much easier to take an eye out...
A low-bitrate mp3 of the song can be found here.
A low-bitrate mp3 of the song can be found here.
Skewer yourself
They may graze skin like knife
Sever, spiking, may need sutures
Groove yourself
A spar the wound it makes
‘Til an ord’nance banned diversure
Seek on shelf:
Now none with points they make
If some flew now that's illegal play
Dark - sneaky stealth
For this amuse’ partake
Now I’m hoarding those...
Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts
Danger prone, but you’ll chance it!
True - it hurts when it gores
Toss it now...
Illegally deny
Watch advance as jart is flown-ly
“You’ll hurt yourself”
Not if steps back we take
Yeah, they’re all dweebs at C.P.S.C.
It don’t help
To over-regulate
Reaction: knee-jerk, with speed
Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jart
Owner of the only jarts
Owner of those *naughty* jarts
Under my own supervision
No excuses though
Avoiding sever - best to be on the ball
In the end you've got to show
‘Sponsibility
And don't you shoot but straight at all – or you’re...
(Insert jart piercing the new siding music here)
Owner of a wayward jart
Owner of a boning jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts
Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts
Owner of a lonely jart!
Sooner or later legislations
Will discern my lonely jart
For they delight, but that’s a plight
Please don’t diss the mega-dart
Won't receive your free will to maul
Want to heave, and holes drill, in lawn
I’ll get peeved if there’s jart recall
Just reprieve it
Just reprieve it
They may graze skin like knife
Sever, spiking, may need sutures
Groove yourself
A spar the wound it makes
‘Til an ord’nance banned diversure
Seek on shelf:
Now none with points they make
If some flew now that's illegal play
Dark - sneaky stealth
For this amuse’ partake
Now I’m hoarding those...
Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts
Danger prone, but you’ll chance it!
True - it hurts when it gores
Toss it now...
Illegally deny
Watch advance as jart is flown-ly
“You’ll hurt yourself”
Not if steps back we take
Yeah, they’re all dweebs at C.P.S.C.
It don’t help
To over-regulate
Reaction: knee-jerk, with speed
Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jart
Owner of the only jarts
Owner of those *naughty* jarts
Under my own supervision
No excuses though
Avoiding sever - best to be on the ball
In the end you've got to show
‘Sponsibility
And don't you shoot but straight at all – or you’re...
(Insert jart piercing the new siding music here)
Owner of a wayward jart
Owner of a boning jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts
Owner of a lonely jart
Owner of a lonely jart
A-bettor outlawed
Owner of forbidden jarts
Owner of the only jarts
Owner of a lonely jart!
Sooner or later legislations
Will discern my lonely jart
For they delight, but that’s a plight
Please don’t diss the mega-dart
Won't receive your free will to maul
Want to heave, and holes drill, in lawn
I’ll get peeved if there’s jart recall
Just reprieve it
Just reprieve it
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User Comments
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I had those things when I was a kid. We never hurt ourselves with them, but we never purposely hurled them at someone.
I used to like lawn darts..but like all fun items, Yeah, Big Brother decided we needed protection from ourselves, and dummied 'em up...when, in contrast, serious objects like guns are all over the place...no soft bullets, here....unique theme, and well spoofed.
ah yes...the jart....we used to throw them at each other while flying down "slip n slides"
...you make a good point here
he he
;) Love it!
Maybe you could join Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Jarts Club...? Don't think we had them here - good job though!
Recently my mom had her siding replaced. I insisted that the siding guys carefully cut out and save the piece with the jart-hole, put there by my former sister-in-law, ca. 1966.... :-)
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