900 pounds, about
I cleaned the Olive Garden out
Spent a day's whole wage
I've got peas and pork and cheez, this is my eating grand finale

I got some Burger King
Few hundred fries, a chicken wing
Everything made my way
I've got steak and corn and cake, this is my eating grand finale

When I laugh, china breaks
Cavernous mouth, thunder thighs,
Planes can land there

While you're up, some bacon, please
A gross will do
Grape juice and a napkin,
Bread and butter too
24, blood pressure's 300
Over 202

(Quick instrumental)

This is great lemming stew
You volunteered? How kind of you!
I suck up atmosphere
I've got steak and corn and cake, this is my eating grand finale

When I laugh, china breaks
Cavernous mouth, thunder thighs,
Planes can land there

While you're up, some bacon, please
A gross will do
Grape juice and a napkin,
Bread and butter too
24, blood pressure's 300
Over 202

I might explode, it's true,
But I've just got to go out with a bang
There's nothing left to do,
Ow! Oh, did I just eat my left hand?
And these here onion rings
Are quite delightful, if a bit bland

(Quick instrumental)

Here are the candied yams
We shall soon find out what's fresh or canned
And with a bit of thyme
This mouse-and-monkey pie should taste grand
Slowly the table clears
Bring on the wine and dry ale and beers

900 pounds about
I cleared the Olive Garden out
900 pounds about
I cleared the Olive Garden out..

When I laugh, china breaks
Cavernous mouth, thunder thighs,
Planes land there
Now I need to phone my lawyer;
I taste hair!

(Instrumental)

900 pounds, about
I cleaned the Olive Garden out
Spent a day's whole wage
I've got peas and pork and cheez, this is my eating grand finale

When I laugh, china breaks
Mountains my nip's and my thighs
Planes can land there

Where's the baked potato and the cordon bleu?
Ten ribs, then a pork chop
Then I'll do the Dew
24, blood pressure's 300
Over 202

Chef:
He no pay for dragon bowl!
He no pay for dragon bowl!
Waiters:
Tip! Tip! Tip!
Tip! Tip! Tip!