She will soon die
And the money will be mine
And she'll be burned
I'll keep her in an urn
But 'till then I'll please her
She walks with a cane
Oh yeah man she's lame
Can't stand straight up again
And just when I thought
That she couldn't take no more
She mumbled sweet
And threw me on the floor (again!)

Hey dude, she's seventy
Yeah man I know, I'm in it for the green
But dude, she's seventy
Grampa says she's too old
But she's rich enough for me

Wrinkled up face
She takes out her dentures
Oh every hair is white up on her head
She said can you wipe me
I need my meds
Meds, my back went out
Have a weak spine
And just when I thought
She was gonna breathe no more
She mumbled sweet
And threw me on the floor (again!)

Dude that's sick and nasty
But I am poor
And she's got the money
Oh man, she's seventy
Seventy!

Such an old broad
She's living on borrowed time
Eyes closed (ugh!)
But she's leaving me every dime
She's old and broken
She's a little deaf
Oh she's so old
I need the bread

She's drinking Ovaltine
Yeah man I know, I'm in it for the green
She's got a skin disease
Daddy says you weirdo
Get a job at Winn-Dixie