I pictured Alonso, Grand Prix champion
I saw flashbulbs popping round the man
Always selecting the optimum gears
Hearing his engine go “Vroom”
Speed was incessant -
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne,
As fast as Chris Huhne.

You were out there in Brussels
Forging better deals
And clean lager in bars
Washed down those Belgian meals.
I practised at Cadwell, Doddington,
Pembrey, Castle Coombe,
I looked so lean oh
In my Portofino,
I looked so cool in my youth.
Parking at parties
Amongst Maseratis
That shone like a Sheffield-forged spoon,
Speed was so pleasant
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne.

I spoke about Button, Niki Lauda too.
I wondered, I blagged and tried
Mustangs made by Ford,
We all ignored
The Highway Code so crude,
We overtook peasants,
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne,
As fast as Chris Huhne.

Now I have this vision
Of being a boss
As I turn the ignition
Of my Ascari Ecosse
With the thin spokes to impress blokes,
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne,
As fast as Chris Huhne.

There was Mansell, there was Häkkinen,
Schumacher and Vettel,
Burning up the rubber
Flying past in metal;
Jackie Stewart, Stirling Moss
Could always set the pace,
Navigating hairpin bends
So keen to win the race
But some of us were more discreet
With no need for frenzied cheers,
You served in the cabinet
For only two years.
Blue lights, too fast, too soon
But I drove as fast as Chris Huhne.