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Song Parodies -> "I Drove as Fast as Chris Huhne"

Original Song Title:

"The Whole Of The Moon"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I Drove as Fast as Chris Huhne"

Parody Written by:

John Davison

The Lyrics

Christopher Paul-Huhne was a Member of the House of Commons in the United Kingdom Parliament following a six-year period as a Member of the European Parliament where he represented South East England. Following a conviction arising from a speeding offence, he became in 2013 the first official Liberal or Liberal-Democrat MP to resign a parliamentary seat since 1941. He has notable skills as an investigative journalist and as a consultant on energy matters, he has been a prominent campaigner for electoral reform in Britain.
I pictured Alonso, Grand Prix champion
I saw flashbulbs popping round the man
Always selecting the optimum gears
Hearing his engine go “Vroom”
Speed was incessant -
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne,
As fast as Chris Huhne.

You were out there in Brussels
Forging better deals
And clean lager in bars
Washed down those Belgian meals.
I practised at Cadwell, Doddington,
Pembrey, Castle Coombe,
I looked so lean oh
In my Portofino,
I looked so cool in my youth.
Parking at parties
Amongst Maseratis
That shone like a Sheffield-forged spoon,
Speed was so pleasant
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne.

I spoke about Button, Niki Lauda too.
I wondered, I blagged and tried
Mustangs made by Ford,
We all ignored
The Highway Code so crude,
We overtook peasants,
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne,
As fast as Chris Huhne.

Now I have this vision
Of being a boss
As I turn the ignition
Of my Ascari Ecosse
With the thin spokes to impress blokes,
I drove as fast as Chris Huhne,
As fast as Chris Huhne.

There was Mansell, there was Häkkinen,
Schumacher and Vettel,
Burning up the rubber
Flying past in metal;
Jackie Stewart, Stirling Moss
Could always set the pace,
Navigating hairpin bends
So keen to win the race
But some of us were more discreet
With no need for frenzied cheers,
You served in the cabinet
For only two years.
Blue lights, too fast, too soon
But I drove as fast as Chris Huhne.
The locations mentioned are circuits used (or formerly used) for motor racing, not necessarily to Grand Prix standard. Chris Huhne's speed in a motor car was measured on public roads, and this song does not imply that he ever drove competitively or wished so to do. The "cabinet" mentioned towards the end of the song is a group of senior ministers within a UK Government and its membership may vary within the term of a single government. Brussels, the Belgian capital, is the city that hosts most meetings of the European Parliament.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - April 04, 2022 - Report this comment
Found this at random, and pretty sure I'll be one of very few on amiright to know who Huhne is and to have written one or two parodies about him. So I felt I had to comment :-) Very good, but the pedant in me has to point out what was probably an autocorrect of Donnington racetrack, and he was MP for Eastleigh - the South East England constituency was when he was a MEP, ie. when he was a member of the European parliament.

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