Boom boom whack 'em with a broom
Broom broom whacka-whacka boom boom

It was a night like this, forty seven years ago
I lit my corn cob pipe, fell asleep and don't ya know
My bed it caught a-fire, my boxers burnin' bright
Smelled like burnin' tires, so I ran out in the night
To put out my drawers, to put out my drawers!

CHORUS:

Open the door, roll on the floor
Somebody stomp-out my drawers
Open the door, roll on the floor
Somebody stomp-out my drawers
Open the door, roll on the floor
Somebody stomp-out my drawers
Open the door, roll on the floor
Somebody stomp-out my drawers

Ran into a cave, my boxers all aglow
My butt it was ablaze, stop drop and roll
That night I needed a big ol' lake and something for my scars
I ran so fast, my buns were baked and passed a speeding car
To put out my drawers, to put out my drawers!

CHORUS

That night I dreamed I was a torch
and I felt like roasted pork
I was rollin' on my porch
Legs were singed, so were my hips
and all of my hair had disappeared
Even burnt away my beard!

Runnin' through the night, I know it sounds absurd
A screaming thrashing boy, language you've never heard
I looked like, a fiery streak, my body was quite soar
Suddenly it caught some leaves and burned down the grocery store
I burned the grocery store, I burned the grocery store!

CHORUS 2:

Open the door, roll on the floor
Try to put out the grocery store
Open the door, roll on the floor
Try to put out the grocery store
Open the door, roll on the floor
Try to put out the grocery store
Open the door, roll on the floor
Try to put out the grocery store

Boom boom whack 'em with a broom
Broom broom whacka-whacka boom boom