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Song Parodies -> "Long Long Line"

Original Song Title:

"Red Red Wine"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Long Long Line"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Yes, I know Neil Diamond did the original, and then it was covered by a guy named Tony, but I intentionally did this one, check out the OS at YouTube When I go to record this, the rap part, which is a good portion of the song may be unrecordable as I don't see a backing track made for it yet, of course theres probably a number of projects I'll get to first anyway, so maybe by then . . . who knows, until then I am at . .thank you!
Stuck In Line
Will you move please?
If it don't move I might
Lose my contro--ol

Please move Line!
This isn't new
Watching my shoes, C'mon
This really blo-ows
This line won't go

You would think
People's minds
In the front
Have surely fled
Takes too long
Watch the time
Please now guy are you done yet?

Stupid Line
Stuck here all week
I've gotta get back home
Don't need to be smart
Will you depart?

Five past nine
Fin'lly moved
about an inch
Moved along
Just to find
The computer has just quit

Long Long Line
Only to see
State's old hardware has blown
Tomorrow restart
For now, depart

~~Rap about long lines~~

Those long lines when I go out to dine
Waiting here for a real long time

Stuck in line, cannot sit so I'll stand
I want to get a table but they're in high demand

These long lines will make me get so mad
E'ry time they call a name it moves just a tad

Front of line after all of this time
Making people wait this long should be a crime

(Long Long Lines)

More long lines at all dem theme parks you'll see
Paying big fees to be waiting for glee

(Why won't it move?)

Long Long Lines make me want to push N shove
Can't push n Shove, Cam'ras watching from way above

Why's this line moving so slow like a crawl
Why did it stall will it move at all

C'mon Line before I get hostile
Let's move line been waiting for awhile, yeah

Stuck in dem long lines, When I go out at night
(I get worn)
Stuck in dem long lines, All the time it ain't right
(Wasting time)

Standing in line and it sorta makes me whine
(At the zoo)
I just want these limes While in my prime
(or buying bread)

Long Long Lines you take up all my time
At the store want to buy this to knock out grime

Ain't no joke, stuck behind some folks
If it don't move soon the guy in front I'll choke

(Long Long Lines)

Please Long Line, Could you move an inch or too
C'mon now dude you're hurting my I.Q.

(Move along please)

Long Long Line it sorta makes me want to cry
Make me wanna cry and you know why

(It is making me moan)

Front of line stuck 'cause his card declined
C'mon now mister please I'm in a bind
(Just empty your cart)
I'm in a bind, I won't cuss jus' sit an' fuss.
(Just do your part)

Killing all my time, getting stuck in these lines
(Buying corn)
Killing all my time, getting stuck in these lines
(This life time)

Real slow lines when I go out to buy some blinds
(Pushing through)
Gonna lose my mind Move your behind
(Just push ahead)

Darn this line I've been stuck in here since nine
Let me outta here before I get unkind

This no joke, I'm feeling provoked
Better get this movin' or soon I may croak

(Long Long Line)

Long Long Line I wanna pay for my stuff
I've had enough all these people surely puff

(Move along please)

Stuck in Line, Those up front got no regard
It's not that hard, Just swipe your card

(My whole darn day is blown)

Long Long Line, got to the front of this thing
Hurry up ring My card?! forgot to bring
(Go back to the start)
Long Long Line it goes on for miles
Long Long Line stretchin through all the aisles, yeah

~~Fade Out
This has been a Below Average Dave production, All Rights Reserved.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   26

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Hi Dave, lotta hard work in this one! I like a parody where I can relate to the subject mater, this is one of my pet peeves!
Jeff Reuben - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
I worked at the DMV as a summer job for a few years, so that line gave me a good laugh :)
Peter Andersson - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
The irony is that the original song is too damn long, the line of lines never end, but you surely knew that before you started writing, right? :-)
alvin - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
nicely done...i can relate....i have a knack for picking the wrong line if given a choice...its uncanny
Agimorfee - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
UB40 did make this into a quite the parody challenger. And you made it over the finish line. Not handing you a line here, 555.
Below Average Dave - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank You Peregrin, Jeff, Peter, Alvin and Agrimorfee! Yes this song was quite a challenge and what's funny is when the idea hit me for it, I was thinking 'this song will be quick and easy'. . .two minutes into listening, I realized I had just taken on one heck of an OS that would be far less easy to tame than I initially imagined.
Jason - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
I bet this will win the next SOTM if its entered!
Matthias - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Getting started on the karaoke project I see. I guess I'll have to follow this one up with "Line After Line" to complete some from the Party Disc. Great parody here Dave, and I love the rap part even though it's going to make this one a b**** to parody, and you pulled it off with flying colors.
Meriadoc - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Maybe you should phone first to see how long the lines are... "Thank you for you patience - your call is important to us..." ;-)
UnKnownWaitress - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Now, now, Sir B-A-D . . . calm down, Sir. I've put on 'Jeff's apron' . . . & here's a cool ~TequilaSunrise~ to cool your hot temper, Sir. This will enable you to tolerate all the friggin' lines!
Jeff Reuben - August 09, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) So that's where my apron went! Anyway, glad to read it again, will this be recorded soon? Excellent job with good subject matter.
Below Average Dave - August 09, 2008 - Report this comment
It will be recorded, though I don't know how long that will be as I do have some other big projects in the work including last month's 5th place entry "Squeal Good", my "Full of Himself Rhapsody" 4th place from January, and of course "Wannabe Breakin' Something"--my third and so far last medal winner, I hope to record all the ones I do that make into the SOTM top 5 this year, which so far is all but February, which was recorded before it got entered:)
Jason - August 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See my above comment!
Matthias - August 12, 2008 - Report this comment
UB40's version of this song friggen ROCKS!!! The original isn't bad, but without the rap part the parody kinda loses the certain kick.
Below Average Dave - August 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I will try to find one the has the rap part when I record it, I had to parody it though--just didn't feel right without it.
Guy - August 17, 2008 - Report this comment

If my military career taught me anything it taught me how to tolerate lines. Not that I lke them or anything. I just learned well how to cope with them - not like the character in this parody. Nice piece of writing and worth the wait in line at the public library for a computer to use so I could visit amiright.
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Aw, I thought it'd be about cocaine :P Still, I know what it feels like to be in a long line - throw in a full bladder and things get really messy. Excellent work as per usual, Dave! 555 hours in line!
Max Power - August 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Same with Cop, thought it would be about coke as well but still great work.
Dr Music - August 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Lovely song. And yes, we too hate long lines-especially ones for rides at amusement parks or new movie release openings at the cinema. The worst one we had to endure was the line for getting a guest spot on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno. Hey, you the Comic Book Guy simpsons book- there's a page that has very useful tips on how to endure them.
Red Ant - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Heinz ketchup slogan used to be "Good things come to those who wait". I always thought that was ridiculous - tell that to a gunshot victim in an ER. Patience isn't a virtue: it's the skill required to tolerate the differences between how things should work and how they actually do. I could write many lines about how I detest lines, but fortunately you already did. Great work with the short lines and rap section. Red Ant 5s.
Invisible Boy - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Big effort here Dave. I am apparently the 21st in line to give you well deserved 5s for this.
I think longer OSs give you more to work with...especially in a comp. Great job.
Timmy1000 - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Kind of a repetitious and tedious OS - an excellent choice for a parody about long lines - been there, done that. Nicely done, Dave - stays to theme and follows the OS very well.
agrimorfee - July 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Cant think of any new lines to say here. :)
Leo Keough - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(L) Great job with a very relatable subject!!!...Loved the way you overlaid the lyrics!!!...555!!!
Guy - July 18, 2009 - Report this comment

I commented on this parody on Aug. 17, 2008 and I'm still in that line waiting on a computer at the public library to free up. It's enough to make one "get out of line", but you reminded me in the parody about the overhead camaras. I don't want to end up on "The World's Dumbest Criminals". I got a-long well with all the lines in this parody.
Stuart McArthur - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) a long and winding paody for a long and winding song, Dave. Hey maybe you should do Long and Winding Line to Long and Winding Road next time - quite good - lots of "first-rhyme-you-thought-of" moments which detracts a little, but I liked it - 555
bobpiecheese - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) See above!
Red Ant - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
See above; a pleasure to revisit this one.
Invisible Boy - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Still fun to read Dave. See above.
Jeff Reuben - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
What IB said, see above!
Matthias - July 25, 2009 - Report this comment
See above... Still love this one! Especially the recording.

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