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Song Parodies -> "Swamp Apothecary"

Original Song Title:

"Pet Sematery"

Original Performer:

The Ramones

Parody Song Title:

"Swamp Apothecary"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

You have to love it when a parody almost writes itself. The GOP plan to replace the Affordable Care Act is more of the same. Let the 50 states deal with the matter.
Swamp Apothecary

(Sung to Pet Sematary The Ramones)

In the morass that is called D.C.
they're plotting ruin against you and me...
Said they'd kill off ObamaCare
Their replacement it will have you scared!
Do you rememebr the foul smell?
Legislation straight from hell!

I don't want to be ferried to a Swamp Apothecary
It seems too much like ACA
I don't want to be ferried to a Swamp Apothecary
It seems too much like ACA.

For this crap, Trump is not to blame!
This was crafted years ago!
Consign AHCA to the cleansing flames
I read the plan and it sure does blow!
Until Congress behaves sane,
they will never feel our pain!

I don't want to be ferried to a Swamp Apothecary
It seems too much like ACA
I don't want to be ferried to a Swamp Apothecary
It seems too much like ACA.

The crock is full of that bullshit smell,
Its Federal Health Care hell
take it from the D.C ingrates
Give the power to the States
And while Congress bloviates
can you hear the electorate scream in hate!

I don't want to be ferried to a Swamp Apothecary
It seems too much like ACA
I don't want to be ferried to a Swamp Apothecary
It seems too much like ACA.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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 5   8

User Comments

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Patrick - March 23, 2017 - Report this comment
Now when the state co-ops collapse and people lose their insurance to rising premiums, the Republicans will get the blame. Dumb move. I can't even get Obamacare. Tried. I'll just have to go on living to prove him wrong.
Stephen - March 24, 2017 - Report this comment
Ryancare has just failed with Trump pulling the plug. Obamacare prevails! You Trump supporters are idiots. Everything Trump promised are lies. He is a total failure and the establishment remains intact. Trump has accomplished nothing thus far. Nothing!!! And he's under investigation too! The election was rigged. Hillary should be POTUS!!!
Geoffrey - March 24, 2017 - Report this comment
^ hey goofball, by Republicans pulling out, Obamacare is owned fully by the Democrats. It's failing, states losing insurers, people who'd rather pay the fine of the illegal mandate, people who can't afford the skyrocketing premiums averaging 70-80% a year or more, and who cannot afford the co-pays! Trump didn't lose today, America did. The big losers are Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. The Democrats didn't give 1 vote. So when Obamacare goes down the toilet, they are responsible.
Present Tense - March 25, 2017 - Report this comment
^ The Democrats were responsible for creating Obamacare seven years ago. Now it is law, and the new Republican House, Senate, and Executive are responsible for its administration, revisions, and enforcement. We live in the present, and therefore the Republicans who inherited Obamacare have the duty to properly own it. It's a simple concept. When the Democrats swept into office in 2009, they inherited and owned Bush's ill-conceived Iraq war. FDR owned Hoover's Great Depression, etc., etc.
The Right - March 25, 2017 - Report this comment
Wrong. Trump pulled the bill and left Obamacare intact as it was. No change. The Democrats claimed victory, so it's theirs as it implodes. Republicans don't have to do anything about it. They could just vote to repeal it to get rid of the individual mandate, but don't want the left uproar. They could defund parts of it too. But no, Trump said he was done. He wants the Democrats to feel the heat as having health insurance isn't the same as having healthcare. The market will collapse on its own. Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi can take the fall.
CML - March 25, 2017 - Report this comment
If the Dems do nothing but obstruct when it comes to revising O-care, then they still "own it." And what does this phrase "own it' mean anyway? We're talking who will get the blame for whatever bad outcomes happen as a result of O-Care imploding -- which is not an objective fact at all. It's a matter of whose version of what happened wins out in the minds of 50.1% of Americans. And I have no idea of how this one is going to turn out
Rick Beck - March 25, 2017 - Report this comment
It is well past Day One and the ACA is still here. Not to mention that the screamers who voted to repeal dozens of times still have no acceptable alternative to offer. Trump worshippers have come to realize that what he has to offer them is much less than acceptable.
To top that off, the disingenuous Right is now trying to pin the blame on the Left for their inability to function. How familiar is that old tune?
Because the Right and Comrade Tschump now have unfettered control of the reigns, they are absolutely responsible for the success or failure of the ACA. I have no doubt, though, that they will hit, run and point blaming fingers, as has been standard operating procedure for so long now.
The buck most certainly stops at the top, and Comrade Tschump and company occupy uncontested space in that domain. In that respect they have absolute responsibility for the success or failure of the ACA. Not the Left who, unless invited to participate in the process, no longer have any means to affect the outcome.
Anything bad in health insurance that happens in this country will be felt at the polls by current office holders, i.e., Republicans. Pelosi and Schumer will not suffer retroactively.
Comrade Tschump care is now the law of the health arena. It is absolutely his to destroy or repair.
Louis S. - March 25, 2017 - Report this comment
“I’ve been saying for the last year and a half that the best thing we can do politically speaking is let Obamacare explode,” Mr. Trump said from the Oval Office.
This is perhaps the most telling statement about Trump's commitment to the people of this country. First and foremost, he thinks the best action is politically-based. Ironic for someone who based his campaign on not being a politician and "draining the swamp." Second, his wish for the ACA to explode would result in millions of the most vulnerable citizens losing health care and suffering the consequences. He simply doesn't care and wants to "move on." When will his supporters realize they voted for a scam artist who only cares about his popularity?
Rob Arndt - March 26, 2017 - Report this comment
That's totally untrue. Trump would like to honor his pledge to repeal Obamacare which then turned into repeal and replace. While obstructed by the most right-wing elements of the GOP unwilling to make concessions, you also have the unwillingness of the Democrats to provide bipartisan support for a new comprehensive bill. So remember that Trump said he was willing to reach across the aisle for a compromise. It is the Democrats that refused to support the Republican bill. No votes, so they own ACA and it's death spiral of increased premiums, increased copays, and insurers abandoning the market. As states lose insurers and people have healthcare but can't use it, ACA dies. More people will drop out too and pay the cheaper penalty. Trump said he is willing to work with the Democrats when they come to him willing to provide bipartisan support to either fix ACA or make AHCA better. I agree that this first bill proposed was probably a rushed through job as ACA was and was deeply flawed. But now is the chance to reach across the aisle and make bipartisan corrections. It shouldn't be that hard to expand the health market for real competition outside state lines while covering preexisting conditions, keeping children on until 26, lowering premiums and co-pays, and working with hospitals, doctors, and pharmaceuticals to ease the burden for all Americans.
J. Bernstein - March 26, 2017 - Report this comment
The replacement law — the American Health Care Act — was an incoherent dog’s breakfast of massive tax cuts for the rich and spending cuts for the poor, more a caricature of Republican policy than actual policy. In this regard, credit also goes to the Congressional Budget Office, for quickly and credibly revealing the damage that would be done by the AHCA.
The one policy Republicans get is tax cuts, and little else motivates/interests them. A real motivation for the repeal was cutting about $1 trillion in taxes, including two ACA taxes paid mostly by the wealthiest Americans. When you cut such highly progressive taxes, the benefits always go to those at the top of the scale, and it quickly became clear that, for example, almost 50 percent of the cuts went to millionaire households. The 400 richest taxpayers, with average income above $300 million, would get a tax break averaging $7 million. Couple that with the sharp cuts in Medicaid and the predicted premium increases for low-income elderly people in their AHCA plan, and even in D.C., the extent of this Robin-Hood-in-reverse play was too much for moderate Republicans, many of whom have ACA beneficiaries in their districts from whom they were hearing.
Any rational Republican should be thankful to be the steward of Obamacare for "the foreseeable future" and welcome Democratic cooperation to improve it.
It is my hope that eventually we will have health care constitutionally guaranteed as part of equal protection under law.
Louis S. - March 26, 2017 - Report this comment
^ Right, J.B. But of course the Republicans' "Freedom Caucus" (Tea Party) also hated AHCA: its extension of Obamacare Medicaid expansion for another four years; its failure to immediately repeal all of Obamacare’s tax increases; and its call to provide refundable tax credits to help people buy insurance, which the Caucus labeled “a new entitlement.”
And now Trump is starting on tax reform, which he will note with surprise is "complicated, I will tell you." Even more complicated now that the anticipated $330 billion ten-year deficit reduction expected from AHCA is gone.
Cluck - March 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Excuse me, but can anyone tell me why insurance companies are involved in health care? An insurance company is a large, expensive building in which hundreds of high-paid Scrooges figure out how to DENY you health care. These parasites are one reason our health bills are so high that the taxpayer gets stuck for the price of a stranger's surgery. Oh, and the banks. What the hell are they doing in the health care system? They are practicing usury on medical students so that after they graduate they're in the hole for hundreds of thousands of dollars in loan debt. So physician fees have to be astronomic. Why do pharmaceutical companies spend millions on unwatchable TV commercials for their poison prescription pills? Beats me! Maybe the experienced zipper-chests here can explain it to me. Anyway, I stop watching after the 10th possible deadly side effect is recited. No wonder the U.S. spends the most money per capita on keeping its citizens alive: the for-profit blood-suckers have to drink. The system is insane and no Band-Aid like ACA or AHCA is going to fix it. For me, the solution is simple: You go to the doctor, he tells you to take two aspirin and call him in the morning, and you give the sawbones a sawbuck or, if you don't have the cash, a chicken.
Hippocrates - March 27, 2017 - Report this comment
Healthcare is not like any other free-market service. If you're sick and if your wealth is not limitless you can't shop around for the most cost-effective care. Depending on the quality of insurance you have (if you have any), you may end up in a private room in a posh hospital, or in a ward at a ghetto pus-pocket, or dead on the sidewalk. Immoral! If all men are created equal, their physical and mental well-being should be maintained equally.

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