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Song Parodies -> "Sell Us Clogs"

Original Song Title:

"Jealous Dogs"

Original Performer:

The Pretenders

Parody Song Title:

"Sell Us Clogs"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics


(This is based on the studio version of the song. l couldn't find it on youtube so the live version may be a bit different.)

Don't sell us clogs
Always on us, they hurt
Sartorial frights
They'll break your back and feed you dirt

Spike that sell-us pitch
Always vaunt, exhort
Your shorts have radar stitch
And the swish of flywheels on a tennis court

Sell us, sell us, sell us clogs

Don't sell us clogs
Defective, every one
Don't put the suckers on your wife
She'll want to hand you dung

Elegance, elegance, elegance
Efficient appendectomy
Oh, you slowly awaken
Building zone is vacant

Sell us, sell us, sell us clogs

Ow ow ow, put on the clogs
Brrrrrr, put on the clogs
Don't fall down, put on the clogs
Man-bait with pouch
Sit down in a crouch

It's not aloud if it's "ouch"
Sit down in a crouch

Don't sell us clogs
They get reimbursed
Every kind I learn about
Is modeled by Fred Durst

Hoo-doo, in synch we are
Voo-doo, they think we do
Which card to bet in the nude
When your feet are psychotically clog-shoed

Sell us, sell us, sell us clogs

Ow ow ow, put on the clogs
Eee nuff-nuff, put on the clogs
Sit down, put on the clogs
Wind your rig, flip over and jig

Happy Clog Day, darling
Merry Clogmas, Merry Clogmas

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice-555!!! But if you hate clogs then you'll really hate Gaga's heel-less Tatehenas:
Porfle Popnecker - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Whoa, those look like they came from the same store Steve Martin wrote about in "Cruel Shoes."
2Eagle - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
The Seventies fashion is back.
Porfle Popnecker - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Sometimes I feel like the 70s never really left.
Rob Arndt - August 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Musically, Disco, just split into pop, dance, trance, and electronica but the fashion and culture are largely gone. Women can still wear bell-bottom jeans and platforms, but for guys those days are gone. And so is streaking, CB Radios, Trans-Am, the original Marathon Bar, Burger Chef restaurants, Mood rings, Pet rocks, and times when Gays were challenged by Anita Bryant!!! A lot of Air Bases were closed too. I lived near McClellan and miss the sight of F-111s, A-10s, and massive C-5s in the air. TV was filled with Saturday Morning cartoons, all those police dramas, and weekend entertainment shows (like Sonny & Cher). I had a lot of fun in the '70s :)
Meriadoc - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
I wonder if what I called 'clogs' in the 70s is the same thing you are writing about? I had about 5 pair, they were tremendously comfortable; once walked 12 1/2 miles in a pair. Still had them in '07; tossed them all out before moving back to Ohio and kicking myself ever since - I can't find any in the stores anymore...
Porfle Popnecker - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
I don't know, I was wearing stirrup boots in the 70s.
Brock O'Brahma - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
I always thought Dutch clogs were the strangest shoes. Why invent shoes that are vulnerable to termites.
Rob Arndt - August 02, 2012 - Report this comment
The Europeans had a range of platform shoes for women to keep their dresses out of the mud in the streets. Men wore boots...
2Eagle - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Today's clogs are more elaborate versions of those clunky shoes we wore in the seventies. My fondest memories of the Seventies are Mary Tyler Moore, The Odd Couple and M*A*S*H.
Porfle Popnecker - August 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Two of my favorite things about the 70s are "The French Connection" and "The Brady Bunch." Strangely enough, Gene Hackman was one of the first actors in the running to play Mike Brady!
Peregrin - August 05, 2012 - Report this comment
"The French Connection" meets "The Brady Bunch" - that's something I would like to see. Lots of gunfire.. :)
Porfle Popnecker - August 05, 2012 - Report this comment
And groovy chicks who are really happenin' in a far-out way.

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