Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Too Close To Him"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Stand So Close To Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Too Close To Him"

Parody Written by:

VaNYIn26

The Lyrics

This describes what a victim of Legal Abuse Syndrome/PTSD experienced from both points of view taking place in a courtroom about a prosperous perjury-based NCPOrder from a paranoid geek that the victim used to date/almost married. Both felt awkward being in the courtroom just inches from each other. This is based on a true story and makes fun of it, because it is so stupid, but so serious at the same time.
Young engineer, boring wussy
reading some fantasy
Ed wants to so badly
he knows where he rather be
Inside a book not in a court room
This man's last name
rhymes with Trainor
and This girl's a year younger

Don't stand, don't stand too
Don't stand too close to him

Her father is gonna be angry
You know how legal abuse gets
Sometimes it's a pain
in the bum to be a victim
Temptating, frustrating
So bad it almost makes her whine
chapstick, Ed pines for, meanwhile
the court is warm and dry

Don't stand, don't stand too
Don't stand too close to him

Loose talk in the courtroom
To hurt her he don't have to try
Strong words in front of the judge
his false accusations fly
It's no use, she loses
She starts to breakdown in her escort's car
Just like the older man in
That movie The Fugitive

Don't stand, don't stand too
Don't stand too close to him

Don't stand, don't stand too
Don't stand too close to him
Btw, it is illegal to lie under oath, so don't do what the guy in the song did or else you could wind up in prison (eventually). Legal Abuse means that the real victim is the person that is being accused of stuff that they didn't do and then they get dragged into court multiple times over the same false accusations! Like you could be falsely accused of threatening an ex and his/her mom/stepparent and then you'll find yourself in court facing a hanging justice who will jail you if you don't obey his majesty's orders. Then it gets even worse if you dare disobey him just because you didn't know that violating it would land you in jail in the south. So be careful in the south, because the people here are fakes, they don't practice what they preach and they victimize people of different beliefs/mentalities/races/genders/etc. It is not hospitable down here at all!, because not many people are open-minded and intelligent down south You'll risk finding yourself being chewed out by an ex, his/her family, and then a judge. You'll miss the open-minded intelligent northern states once you get hurt by a southern person and their family!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - December 15, 2014 - Report this comment
not bad 4's

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/thepolice177.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 998