It was Saint Patrick's Day
On the sidewalk
A man with green hair said, "Time for another one"
Then he murmured a song
"I Put A "Spell On You"
I tried to get away
And tripped over you

Lucky I didn't break
My ankle or my skull
Your dog on her leash
Wants to pee on that tree
Happy Paddy's Day
Stuck with your puppy
I can't see a single float
The worst possible view

Antique cars old as time
They've got pots full of gold
Folks are sucking down lager
That's the color of mold
(Me) We left the house so late
On that cold Paddy's Day
The parking space
We found was half mile away

Music blaring
Floats are pretty
Pride of Kansas City
All the drunks quaffed their first one
Then howled out for more
A fist or two swinging
And my ears were now ringing
Looked for a new corner
Then started to fight

The Twenty-Third Street Marching Cobras
Turned cartwheels in the street
While the drums were pounding out
A lively beat

(Me) "Always late!"
(Her) "You ingrate!"
(Me) "You're a hoarder of junk
It's like waking the dead getting you out of bed,
You Salvador's* drinker!"
(Her) "You negative thinker!
I need some of your cash"
(Me) "Hell, you just took the last"

The lads of the Heartland Gay Men's Choir
Are singing "Irish Smile"*
And other melodies of
The Emerald Isle

(Me) I should have turned and run
The same as everyone
(Both) I thought my dreams came true
When I first found you
(Me) You kept after me, babe
'til you had all I own
And now I'm all alone
But better off without you

Old Mike Murphy* would be so glad to see
Crowds turning out this way
March each seventeenth of March
Saint Patrick's Day