Jim Morrison exposed his Door
In Florida in 69
Lindsay Lohan and her jewelry heist
Is looking at some time
Bill Murray in Sweden driving
Caddyshack drunk in a golf cart
Hugh Grant’s lewd conduct
Who Loves Actually oral in a car

Paul McCartney’s drug possession
Yesterdays in Japan
George Micheal’s bathroom romp
Who knew; a real man’s man
Ozzy Osbourne defiles The Alamo
Wearing a dress with a slit side
Pee Wee Herman getting off
I know you are but what am I ?

Mickey Rourke’s DUI
For an illegal u-turn on a scooter
Winona Ryder’s Sak’s Shopping Spree
Just another Movie Star looter
Wesley Snipes missing tax returns
Should have gone to H & R Block
Willie Nelson busted on the road again
For rolling his own stock

Martha Stewart’s inside trades
Just got her an ankle bracelet
Joan Rivers should be arrested
For too many face lifts
Matthew McConaughey for dancing
Naked with his bongos
Nick Nolte for that Hawaiian shirt
And looking like a yo-yo

Tonya Harding’s domestic charge
For throwing a hubcap
David Cassidy for drinking wine
And singing “I Think I Love You” Crap
Joyce DeWitt of Three’s Company
For weaving round a barricade
Snooki for disorderly conduct
And not able to spell New Jersey

David Crosby for Gun possession
What a silly Byrd
Randy Quaid and his wife
Jumping bail without a word
Johnny Cash and a luggage of pills
From a flight from Mexico
Andy Dick for being just a dick
That’s all we need to know…Uh, uh, Andy….DICK!!!!

George Carlin for saying Seven Words
That You Can Never Say On TV
Larry King for passing bad checks
But got off from grand larceny
The ShamWow Guy in a sex fight
An Info slice and dice louse
Kid Rock getting in a fight
It figures; at a Waffle House

Rip Torn getting ripped
And driving into a tractor-trailer
Joey Buttafuoco on statutory rape
After he went ahead and nailed her
Leif Garrett charged with heroin
A Teen Idol’s life who went amiss
John Wayne Bobbitt for the offense
Of misplacing his penis

50 Cent for pushing crack cocaine
That only cost a dime
Gus Van Sant for drunken driving
Good Will Hunting not this time
Daniel Baldwin with auto theft
What will your brothers say
Sinatra fooling with a married woman
And doing it My Way
Glen Campbell with a hit and run
The Rhinestone Cowboy rides in the sun
Michael Vick , a dog’s worst friend
All in the name of fun
Mike Tyson jumping on a car’s hood
Bit off more than he could chew
Mel Gibson driving drunk
And then blaming it all on the Jews
Jerry Lee Lewis at Graceland
Gunning for The King
Michael Jackson, child molestation
No longer around to sing
Phil Spector shooting off his mouth
Along with his 45
Charlie Sheen not yet in jail
But just waiting around to die

88 Lines About 44 Celebrity Crimes