When Everybody Knows You’re Lame (baseball)

Winnin’ a lot in this game today sure takes lots of luck.
Some teams have great farm systems, some spend lots of bucks.
And some just cannot seem to play.

Your ace fell out of bed
And his arm went dead
And you always start a stiff.
And your outfield has no power
And all they do is whiff.
And your fans all where bags on their heads.

You get three men on base
And you hide your face
‘cause they’re all on the same one.
And your best runner needs a road map
To score on a home run.
And by May your pennant hopes are dead.

At least there’s one place you can head
When everybody knows you’re lame.
But they cheer you just the same.
Your style of play makes people say
“Can’t anyone play this game?”
That’s how it is when everybody knows you’re lame.

You just gave up no hits
And you lost four-zip
You think fans are gonna sue.
And your man at third base
Tries to field balls with his shoe
And your shortstop could not catch a cold.

You’d trade your catcher now
For a herd of cows
But the other clubs say “no.”
And when people see your bullpen
All they do is groan.
And your owner requests a blindfold.

At least the losing won’t get old
When everybody knows you’re lame.
But they cheer you just the same.
Your style of play makes people say
“Can’t anyone play this game?”
That’s how it is when everybody knows you’re lame.

When everybody knows you’re lame.
But they cheer you just the same.
Your style of play makes people say
“Can’t anyone play this game?”
That’s how it is when everybody knows you’re lame.