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Song Parodies -> "Don't Mop With Him"

Original Song Title:

"Don't You Want Me"

Original Performer:

The Human League

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Mop With Him"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A parody based on the Swiffer commercial of course: (I could have also mocked the DJ's facial hair in the ad but that would have been too easy)

All of your guests made a huge mess at the party last night
And I’m your broom
I’ve cleaned your house, I’ve swept your floor
Made you lose that frown
But now you bought this Swiffer dude!

You’re such a traitor hun!
Thinking he’s nice and neat
He polishes your whole living room
Yet in the closet’s me covered with spider-webs now
I lean here next to the vacuum

Don’t mop with him!
I know you think he’s perfect
But the hardwood he has just skimmed!

Don’t mop with him!
You think that I’m antique, dear
But the future of your floor’s grim

Your floorboards all shine
You can see yourself in pine
But you won’t see this hack starring in “Fantasia”!

Don’t mop with him baby!
Don’t swiffer your flo’
I’m the star of cleaning!
Don’t work with that shmo!


I’m a French maid in a short dress and I am smoking hot
But can’t stand brooms
My swiffer friend cleans up and you’ve been replaced
I’m no witch nor in costume
You’re tossed in the trash since your bristles drag slime
I don’t need you
I found a different kind of sweeping tool to own
I’m sick of dust and sick of you!


Don’t mop with him!
I played a role in “Wicked”
Can’t you see that I am famous!

Don’t mop with him!
I’m a jock playing Quidditch
Swiffer’s never been to the gym!

You must have lost your mind!
The grime stays when he slides!
You need to buy a pack of pads! I don’t cost money!

Don’t mop with the swiffer!
Can’t you tell he blows?!

Don’t mop with him baby!
I’m the sweeping pro!

When you’re floors aren’t shiny
My work never slows!

He can’t sweep a square inch
Don’t you waste your dough!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Below Average Dave - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
See my karaoke performance of this OS. . .that's all I can say
Old Man Ribber - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
A 5-5-5 clean sweep! Perhaps this will be the theme song for the remake of a classic Danny Thomas sitcom - Make Broom For Daddy. ;D
Christie Marie M - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow, Matt! This would make a perfect commercial for Swiffer! Nice of you to make the connection with this song to the Swiffer commercial, since they play this OS there. Moppin' ya 555 stains! We don't use too much of the Swiffer products because no matter what happens, our floor gets dirty eventually anyways so there are things we can still use the broom for!
Fiddlegirl - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL @ "Fantasia" reference! 555
Mark Scotti - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
I can just picture the late great Billy Mays singing this one...LOL
Agrimorfee - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) A well-done commercial!
Mark Scotti - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) "Cleaning" up on laughs in this one!
Blaydeman - April 01, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Love the correlation here! peronally I actually do prefer the Swiffer products, but don't tell the broom that ;)
Abbott Skelding - April 01, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I never would have thought of this idea...great job, and this is the perfect song to do this to!
Below Average Dave - April 04, 2011 - Report this comment is an interesting take on Don't You Want Me I did live and randomly at karaoke one night. . .have to watch the whole thing. . .also inspired by swiffer. . .

Anyhow, I've always wondered why Swiffer didn't have the broom do his own take on it rather than rely on someone else's song, glad I'm not the only one who thought that way. . .great job Matty--especially after I read that RuPaul one by you
bobpiecheese - April 11, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Definitely a unique idea, and you pulled it off quite well. 555 clean rooms for you!

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