Coming near them
A walk in the grass
There it lies
A field of cow pies

You can feel them
Tread right on them
Assaults your nose
Comes squishing through your toes

May be people who deny
But with my own eyes I can spy
Cow chips are real

City dwellers
Are unaware
A bovine must
Go here and there

They can't comprehend
Lest you clue them
That when you gotta go
Then you gotta go

The evidence is on the make
When a heifer plays patty cake
Cow chips are real

If you're blind you're still aware
What comes from cattle derrieres
Cow chips are real

Tush imparting
Making pies
Quite a soire'
For happy flies

Now I'm hearing
My city friend Gus
Terrorized
By cattle surprised

They're escaping
From the stock pen
And leaving pies
For city gals and guys

Now they know without a doubt
As the neighborhood's airing out
Cow chips are real

On the sidewalk, mince about
Pooper-scoopers selling out
Cow chips are real
Cow chips are real
Cow chips are real