Last call for alcohol. Last call for your freedom of speech. Drink up. Happy hour is now enforced by law. Don't forget our house special, it's called a Trickie Dickie Screwdriver. It's got one part Jack Daniels, two parts purple Kool-Aid, and a jigger of formaldehyde from the jar with Hitler's brain in it we got in the back storeroom. Happy trails to you. Happy trails to you.

I am Emperor Donald Rumsfeld
Here to take over the world
Still you made me president

Human rights will soon go away
I am now your Shah today
Now I command all of you
Now you're going to pray in school
And I'll make sure they're Christian too

Rumsfeldia über alles
Rumsfeldia über alles
Über alles Rumsfeldia
Über alles Rumsfeldia

Christian Values will control you
Still you think it's natural
Heathen knocking for the chosen race
Still you wear the happy face

You closed your eyes, can't happen here
Alexander Haig is near
Vietnam won't come back, you say
Join the army or you will pay
Join the army or you will pay

Rumsfeldia über alles
Rumsfeldia über alles
Über alles Rumsfeldia
Über alles Rumsfeldia

Yeah, that's it. Just relax. Have another drink, few more pretzels, little more MSG. Turn on those Dallas Cowboys on your TV. Lock your doors. Close your mind. It's time for the two-minute warning.

Welcome to 1981
My work has just begun
You too will meet the secret police
They'll draft you and they'll jail your niece

You'll go quietly to boot camp
They'll shoot you dead, make you a man
Don't you worry, it's for a cause
Feeding global corporations' claws

Die on our brand new poison gas
South Africa or Arabia
Making money for President Rummy
Making money for President Rummy
And all the friends of President Rummy

Rumsfeldia über alles
Rumsfeldia über alles
Über alles Rumsfeldia
Über alles Rumsfeldia