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Song Parodies -> "Walk With Some Restriction"
Original Song Title:
"Walk Like An Egyptian"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Bangles
Parody Song Title:
"Walk With Some Restriction"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
Since I've just had my birthday and am tumbling inexorably towards 40, I thought I'd dedicate this to all the guys who have had to deal with "middle-age spread" and their subsequent total denial of it.....
All your old denims won't fit you
You've got a fat ass, don't ya know?
If you move too quick (oh-whey-oh)
They'll split and put all your goods on show
In your younger days, you were lithe
But take a look what you've become
A couch potat(oh-whey-oh)
Days of Our Lives; pretzels by the ton..
Oil your skin, suck your tummy in; go
"Ay! Oh! Ay! Oh! Hey; no way-oh"
Walk with some re-stric-tion
The blonde babes in clubs shake their rumps
You waddle up and you say hello
"You wanna dance?""No way-oh!"
Because you move like C3PO
All the school kids giggle and point
You're an eclipse blocking out the sun
Jeans begin to smoke (oh-whey-oh)
Your thighs are causing fric-ti-on
Golly gosh, do your nuts get squashed?
Oh yay-oh whey-oh, Ay-oh-whey-oh
Walk with some re-stric-tion
Get your legs in first, bend your back
Grit your teeth, start to grunt and sweat
But your fly won't zip (no way-oh)
Those ten éclairs surely you'll regret
Yesterday, got stopped by a cop
He said your pants are in dire straits
Seams stand no chance (no way-oh)
Moving apart like tectonic plates
Like the Japanese Sumo guys
Your underpants all are super-size
But you won't wear sweats (no way-oh)
Are you unwilling to compromise?
You're a blimp on an ego trip
In pain-oh, strain-ohhey, no mo' ma-yo
Walk with some re-stric-tion
Walk with some re-stric-tion
You've got a fat ass, don't ya know?
If you move too quick (oh-whey-oh)
They'll split and put all your goods on show
In your younger days, you were lithe
But take a look what you've become
A couch potat(oh-whey-oh)
Days of Our Lives; pretzels by the ton..
Oil your skin, suck your tummy in; go
"Ay! Oh! Ay! Oh! Hey; no way-oh"
Walk with some re-stric-tion
The blonde babes in clubs shake their rumps
You waddle up and you say hello
"You wanna dance?""No way-oh!"
Because you move like C3PO
All the school kids giggle and point
You're an eclipse blocking out the sun
Jeans begin to smoke (oh-whey-oh)
Your thighs are causing fric-ti-on
Golly gosh, do your nuts get squashed?
Oh yay-oh whey-oh, Ay-oh-whey-oh
Walk with some re-stric-tion
Get your legs in first, bend your back
Grit your teeth, start to grunt and sweat
But your fly won't zip (no way-oh)
Those ten éclairs surely you'll regret
Yesterday, got stopped by a cop
He said your pants are in dire straits
Seams stand no chance (no way-oh)
Moving apart like tectonic plates
Like the Japanese Sumo guys
Your underpants all are super-size
But you won't wear sweats (no way-oh)
Are you unwilling to compromise?
You're a blimp on an ego trip
In pain-oh, strain-ohhey, no mo' ma-yo
Walk with some re-stric-tion
Walk with some re-stric-tion
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 26 | 26 | 26 |
User Comments
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This is a perfect fit, Kristof...Highjeanic humor at it's best..
Tons of fun here! High 5s
Very funny, Kristof! :D 5's
Love the "couch potat(oh whey oh)" bit and the "moving like C3P0" lines. Actually, I love what you did with all the "way-o", "mayo", etc. lines. Great stuff.
Some call it middle-age spread - others call it supersizing. Love the tectonic plates line.
EXERCISE Kristof !! 555 for this parody.
funny concept and execution...5s
Happy birthday, Kristof... now I know what to look forward to in about 14 years. :)
Thickly spread brilliance.
Hey, I'm a bit over thirty and I can still fit in my old high school jeans :) But I was there a couple of years ago until I found the low-carb dieting. 555!
Leo pinched the 2 things I was gonna highlight, Kristof ( sad face) - I've done this OS too, with great difficulty, so I thought - Let's see what Kristof does - blown away I was - 555
btw here's my favourite line ever from a sitcom (and not my favourite sitcom either - by a long shot).....
from "Golden Girls".....
Bea's character: "What are those?"
Young spunky girl: "Leg warmers - they keep my legs warm.
What do you use to keep your legs warm?"
Bea's character: "Friction"
btw here's my favourite line ever from a sitcom (and not my favourite sitcom either - by a long shot).....
from "Golden Girls".....
Bea's character: "What are those?"
Young spunky girl: "Leg warmers - they keep my legs warm.
What do you use to keep your legs warm?"
Bea's character: "Friction"
Thanks everyone...this was much harder to write than I initially thought. Stu...LOL for the Golden Girls quote!
Hehe...good one! I'm gonna be 30 in a couple months, and all my clothes fit me well. And I eat well, so I'm not too out of shape. I do wear heels a lot, though, so I might walk with some restriction myself. Anyway, this was a really great parody, and I'm gonna award it with a perfect 5-5-5 vote.
P.S.: Happy belated birthday! =)
P.S.: Happy belated birthday! =)
From "The Honeymooners," with Ralph finding another crazy harebrained scheme: "Alice, this is the biggest thing I ever got into!" Alice: "The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants!"
A lot of very good lines, and for some reason tectonic plates stands out for me.
Hope you can squeeze in some more fives.
I like middle-age spread on toasted bagels, with coffee and donuts.
Well, as someone who's always been moving as C3PO the first 5 minutes in the morning (long story, some other time) that is inevitably my favorite line.
I thought this was going to be about physical therapy at first. tee hee, good funny song! 555
(ABCW) Still great with TMGLTM, but "In pain-oh, strain-oh…hey, no mo' ma-yo…" was the best.
(ABCW) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Love it. Especially the 'put your goods on show' line.
So many good jokes, if I didn't think you were mocking me I'd give you fives.... Oh what the hell... 5's!!!
"tectonic plates " made i chuckle awsome parody
ABCW - a pleasure to revisit, Kristof - "Golly gosh, do your nuts get squashed? " - LOL!
(ABC) And I like Vegemite, too (not kidding). See above!
(ABC05) "A couch potat(oh-whey-oh)" and many other lines make this a delight to read, Kristof. 555
Hugely funny, many great lines.
ABC: Yuk yuk yuk. Excellent job to an old favorite (hey, they were hot)
(ABC Finals) Yes, I really do like Vegemite!
Yes, I'm a big guy too, although I'm nowhere near reaching 40, I can really relate to this song. This song is really difficult, but you pulled it off with flying colors.
(Artistry) Nice to see this one squeeze itself into our collective pants again.
555 for this pant(ing) parody! My dates with Mr StairMaster have paid off . . . So success can be found with excercise, even after age 35!
(Artistry) Glad you got a chance to reprise this tightly-written parody.
(Artistry) Woah! Zombie parody, much? This was back from when I sucked. Still brilliant.
(art) hilarious as always, KR - loved the C3PO line the most this time, but the whole thing was packed with your comic inventions
(Artistry) Hilarious parody Kristof, I liked the idea, and the execution was just on the money. . .other than some parts I think would be a bit dicey on recording, that could easily be forced, I think this one was great. Oh, and Rex, that was very punny of you.
Not much that hasn't been said...Super funny and well done
"Moving apart like tectonic plates" is a image I don't need in my head :-)
"Moving apart like tectonic plates" is a image I don't need in my head :-)
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