All the old athletes on their skates
They do the ice dance, don't you know
If they move too quick (oh eh oh)
They're falling down and they can't get up

All the Vegas types on the mile
They've lost their money on a bet
Gold crocodile shoes (oh eh oh)
They smack their teeth on their cigarettes

Foreign types with their wooden pipes say:
Eh oh eh oh, eh oh eh oh
Talk like a Canadian

The blonde waitresses drop their trays
They spin around, then they clean the floor
They've got their groove (oh eh oh)
You drop your drink, then they bring you more

The day care kids have their toys
They bounce around like a rubber band
When their mommy comes (oh eh oh)
They're skatin' off like Canadians

All the teens at the local mall say:
Eh oh eh oh, eh oh eh oh
Talk like a Canadian

Put your dollar in the slot, bend your wrist
Grab the arm, then you pull it back
You'll lose the ranch, you know (oh eh oh)
Give away the keys to the Cadillac

If you want to find all the cops
Then turn the dial on to Fox
They bust a move (oh eh oh)
Cruise the clubs, then down the block

All the authors grab their pens
The little kids watch "Gremlins"
And the Yoopers know (oh eh oh)
They're living next to Canadians

All the cops hanging out on Fox say:
Eh oh eh oh, eh oh eh oh
Talk like a Canadian
Talk like a Canadian