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Song Parodies -> "Talkin' Steroids"

Original Song Title:

"Talkin' Baseball"

Original Performer:

Terry Cashman

Parody Song Title:

"Talkin' Steroids"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

Submitted to Q104.3 in NYC, fitting for spring training next week.
Canseco had hid it,
Mark McGuire had fibbed it,
While Wenzlaff denied it all with a smile.
The hitting, it would soar,
But the records are scorned,
As our favorite baseball players went on trial

We're talkin' steroids,
McGuire, Alexander.
Talkin' steroids!
Segui and David Justice,
The Rocker, Lo Duca, and Mo Vaughn,
They all screwed up, the list goes on,
Especially Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds!

Well, no one was grinning,
As indicts were beginning,
One liar going out, one coming in.
Stanton and Denny Neagle,
Matt Franco and that Mike Bell,
Were all going to explain themselves in court again

We're talkin' steroids,
Hundley, Caminiti.
Talkin' steroids!
Grimsley and Santangelo,
Chuck Knoblock, Kevin Brown and Greg Zahun,
They all screwed up the list goes on,
Especially Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds!

Now Home Run king, Barry Bonds,
Well he swore he was the Cleancut Kid
But charts show your lies grew,
And it's not a big fluke
And me, I loved drug free days
It's all a big haze!

Well, now that's the latest,
And Bonds not the greatest,
And Mo Vaughn can't play for everyone.
They're all on the meds,
And they're lying in their own beds,
And the NOT great Barry Bonds is indicted again to end his fun.

I'm talkin' steroids,
Like Dykstra, Glenallen Hill.
Talkin' steroids!
Sheffield and Santiago,
Pettitte, Finley, Boone and Palmeiro,
And Cooperstown's not calling, you're not on.
They'll be without Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds!

Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds. (say what, say what, say what)
It was Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds. (say what, say what, say what)
I'm talkin' Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds. (say what, say what, say what)
Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds. (say what, say what, say what)
Say Clemens, McGuire, and you, Bonds. (say what, say what, say what)
Copyright 2009

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Liked the song but I thought I'd see A-Rod in it.
Mark Scotti - February 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny thing you noticed that. His story came out the day AFTER I submitted this! I was actually pondering putting his name in, but I held off because he wasn't officially accused, and then look what one day brings...
Frank Pope - January 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Don't think you are so original. I wrote as a FB post a little version, never seeing yours. I could not finish due to character amts. Not even tough to do. Just did it for the quick laugh. My begining is better too. I use more of the O.G. melody/pace of the song Human growth hormones had won it, Mark McGwire had done it, And Sosa read the comics all the while. Rock 'n roll was being born, Marijuana, we would scorn, So down on the corner, The national past-time went on trial. We're talkin' baseball! A-Rod, Roger Clemens. Talkin' baseball! The Man and Barry Bonds. The Scooter, t...he Barber, and the Newc, They knew 'em all from Boston to Dubuque.
Mark Scotti - January 14, 2010 - Report this comment
To Frank, wasn't trying to be 'original', just trying to be timely with the current headlines at that time and vent a little frustration..... You had some good lines as well..

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