You may find yourself with a police officer
You will ask the cop to "Please take me to prison please!"
You may drink yourself some apple juice, but if it starts feeling warm,
You may find yourself in a state of denial, you'll be pondering twice
You may ask yourself; Well..."Is this stuff apple juice?"

Lori Beth Denberg knows
Lots of Vital Information
Lori Beth Denberg knows
How to shape your life around
Danny Tamberelli
Laughter was never gone
Here's vital info
How to shape your life around

You may see Santa Claus
On the Fourth of July
You may ask yourself
"Hey is that large guy Santa Claus?"
You may tell the fat guy
"Get out of my beautiful house!"
You may tell yourself
"This is not our Jolly St. Nick!"

Lori Beth Denberg knows
How you folks should live your lives
Pork Boy the Breakfast Monkey
"Me love-a da pizza pie!"
I just got sick again
"I blame-a da pizza pie!"
It's vital info
Homework: "Bad" and Pizza: "Good"

You drop a bowling ball...on your poor foot of yours...it is okay to scream...
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" (hold the scream for about four bars)
Lori Beth Denberg knows...Lori Beth Denberg knows...

Lori Beth Denberg...and Danny Tamberelli
There was once a skit called Vital Information
On Nickelodeon
On the "All That" show
I can't believe that it's been ten long years already

Lori Beth Denberg knows
Lots of Vital Information
Lori Beth Denberg knows
How to shape your life around
Danny Tamberelli
Laughter was never gone
Here's vital info
How to shape your life around

Lori Beth Denberg knows
A bunch'a Vital Information
Lori Beth Denberg knows
How to make you laugh out loud
Danny Tamberelli
Really made it more fun
More vital info
More for your everyday life!

You may ask yourself
Why am I smelling like ham?
You may ask yourself
Is that guy really Santa Claus?
You may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
You may say to yourself
MY GOD!...I'm Pork Boy the Breakfast Monkey!!!!

Letting the days go by
And why do you smell like ham?
Pork Boy the Breakfast Monkey
Brand new Barf-O's Cereal
There was an old lady
Lived in a show a long time
She had so many kids
But you know she stank like fish!

Letting the days go by
And why do you smell like ham?
Pork Boy the Breakfast Monkey
Brand new Barf-O's Cereal
There was an old lady
Lived in a show a long time
She had so many kids
But you know she stank like fish!

Lori Beth Denberg knows (Repeat a lot)
Lori Beth Denberg

If there's a Yabba-Dabba
And ou hide one in
You Backyard once again
You just might step in some
Sick Yabba-Dabba doo
Lori Beth Denberg knows
Lori Beth Denberg knows

Lori Beth Deberg knows
(Repeat/fade out)