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Song Parodies -> "Bettin' on the Reds"

Original Song Title:

"Puttin' on the Ritz"

Original Performer:

Taco / Irving Berlin

Parody Song Title:

"Bettin' on the Reds"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

If you're fans
Who disagreed
With his bans, you
Now have to read what Pete Rose sez
Bettin' on the Reds

Buy his words
And all the fuss'll
Seem absurd
Poor Charlie Hustle missed his meds
Bettin' on the Reds

But inside his barless jail, it's clear you'll
Recognize his gambling problem's ser-ial
(Manager-ial)

Gambling slips
Tucked in his undies
What a ditz
Rule 21-D's ripped to shreds
Bettin' on the Reds

Can you see the Hall of Fame
Sanctify Pete Rose's name?
Think what tales his shrine will tell
On that icy day in hell
Tax fraud - and bad divorces
Bats pawned - for racing horses
Just like Poison warned
Every Rose has its thorn

What's your bet?
I've got a feeling
Pete won't get
Pardoned by Selig till he's dead
Bettin' on the Reds

Up in heaven's clubhouse playing hooky
On the phone to William Bennett's bookie
(Stupid rookie)

Come let's watch
See how the Majors
Scratch their crotch
Playin' with wagers in their heads
Bettin' on the Reds

Bettin' on the Reds
Bettin' on the Reds
Bet against the Reds
© 2004+ Spaff.com

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I bet this parody will get Mister Pacholek's attention!
Eye1zLotto - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Pretty good. My era. BTW..just say "no" to Pete. "The hall's too small for a guy that often calls his bookie. Bett'n 'gainst the Reds"
David Chrenko - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Very timely, and a good original song choice. Kudos 'n' Fives.
Laurence Dunne - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I'll bet this will be a hit. What odds do I hear for a #1? 5-5-5
Melhi - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, Spaff.
Guy - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Ye,s but the $64,000 question is was he betting for or against the Reds? Nice job Spaff.
Johnny Pyro - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Great! I loved this one!
Spaff.com - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Johnny Deet & Eye1 & David & Laurence & Mel & Pyro!
Guy: Pete Rose says he never bet against the Reds, and I believe everything Pete Rose says.
Jack Wilson - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Awesome job, Spaffmeister!
John Jenkins - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a tough song to parody, and you made it seem natural. And the rhyming seemed secondary to the humor. Excellent.
Agrimorfee - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Ditto John Jenkins. (can you maybe expand on it with Taco's version, when he does that weird rap in the middle?) 555
Arwen - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
One of my all time favorite songs...re-written perfectly! 5s, Spaff.
Claude Prez - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I was gonna try to think of something clever to say but dammit you write good make pretty rhymes
Stockton - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Best Ritz parody on ths site. Like I said last time, nohing like a good ol' celebrity bashing.
Stockton - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, I really can't find the bash in this. It's just about Rose.
Michael Pacholek - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Was there any doubt? Spaff Rose to the occasion!
Spaff.com - January 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Jackie & Johnkins & Evenstar & Stock & Stock & Michaelopedia!
C4P: Dammit you write good make pretty comments.
Aggro: I thought about that but isn't that bit mainly an instrumental medley? And, hey, it would have required more work.
Meriadoc - April 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Cute parody Spaff. :-)
wdh - April 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Will I give you 1s? Don't bet on it. Great job
Mari D - April 11, 2004 - Report this comment
This one's very funny and makes fun of Pete Rose... yes!
Johnny D - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment
My score of 5 runs, 5 hits, and 5 hot dogs still stands.
Peregrin - April 13, 2004 - Report this comment
I thought this was great, Spaff
Old Comedywriter - April 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, I flame MLB every spring about Pete Rose not being in the Hall of Fame for his achievements as a player. As soon as we have a decent commissioner, it might just happen. In the meantime, I'll just give my hall of fame vote to this parody.
Spaff.com - May 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Smeagol & wdh & MAD & Johnny Angle & Gollum & Old CW: I thank you, and your Peter (er, Pete) thanks you.
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring my previous 555 vote.
Cat - December 10, 2005 - Report this comment
A bit late but...you're batting a .555 here. Excellent.
Spaff.com - April 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Belated thanx, Catgirl, and REEEEALLY belated thanx, Johnny BD.
Jack Wilson - December 15, 2006 - Report this comment
You should get this record sometime!
Spaff.com - January 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Jackie: The Taco one?
Jack Wilson - January 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah,or the Gene Wilder/Peter Boyle (RIP) one
Jack Wilson - January 07, 2007 - Report this comment
BTW this OS is on my to do list
Phil Alexander - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Even for your standards, Spaff, there's some fantastic wordplay and rhyming in this one. Don't know why I didn't spot this first time around..
Spaff.com - February 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanx, Philbo. The fact that you looked this up tells me you are doing (or already did) this one. If so, I'm sure it will be (or already is) great. Be sure to point me to it, though, because I'm too lazy to look it up on my own. You too, Jackie.
MadameVO - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir, So also are there are a lot of folks, "Betting on the Reds" out there in enChineRouge . .
Spaff.com - March 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Ah, yes, Madame. THOSE Reds. Mais oui.
Lee - January 21, 2023 - Report this comment
Parodies written by Spaff All seem to be the peak of craft - The best I've read Guy's just miles ahead... Some do say (though I cannot) Maybe someday, some AI bot Might take his stead - That's a day I'd dread! AI ain't as brilliant, or as punny It could never be - I'd bet you money (funny money!) So that's it - sorry to gush I have a bit of writer's crush - Spaff slays me dead - Spaff's the best I've read!
Lee - January 21, 2023 - Report this comment
Oops, line break fail above, sorry. Anyway, let me just say in plain English how feckin' brilliant this is, particularly given the tricky rhythm and rhyme scheme of the OS. Too many great lines to mention, but "undies/Rule 21-D's" and the Poison line are particularly inspired. Amazing work, as always.

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