If something is down but you don’t need to be down
there is only one man to call when it’s on the fritz,
Mister fix it.

The one who wears coveralls, jeans with straps,
that aren’t too small, perfect fits,
Mister fix it.

Flooded the house trying to be a plumber,
He’s got the I.Q. of your average plunger. (that or dumber!)

Cement mix and paint pails with yard sticks
and smashed thumbnails he got no wits,
Mister fix it.

Have you seen this carpenter, keep falling off his ladder?
Or how he is such a goof, always falling off the roof?
Hard hats and screwdrivers, claw hammers and locking pliers
Wasting every dime, taking twice as much time.

If something is down but you don’t need to be down
there is only one man to call when it’s on the fritz,
Mister fix it.

The one who wears coveralls, jeans with straps,
that aren’t too small, perfect fits,
Mister fix it.

He claims to be the number one do-it-yourselfer
Trying hard to be just like Bob Vila. (still a home-wrecker!)

Cement mix and paint pails with yard sticks
and smashed thumbnails he got no wits,
Mister fix it.

(Assorted hand and power tools working...)

Blew out every light in the house when we turned a lamp on. (electric surge & bulb exploding sounds)
His sprinkler system killed all the grass in the front lawn (what a moron!)

If something is down but you don’t need to be down
Just don’t call him or you’ll go straight to the money pit
Mister fix it.
Mister fix it.
Mister fix it.
Mister fix it.