Driving out, smashed up the tree
Did the crime, took your chances
Took pain pills, now you're out on your feet
Just a man who's been caught in a lie
So many times, you played loose and fast
You traded your glory for passion
You lost your grip on your disciplined past
You must fight now to fend off your wife

It's the lie of the Tiger, it's the cause of the fight
Driving out from the challenge of the wife, oh
And the club wielding spouse stalks her hub in the night
And she's swinging because of the LIE ..
Of the Tiger

Face to face, taking her heat
Staying calm, trying to reason
She went berzerk, now you take to the streets
Not too thrilled to be killed by your wife

It's the lie of the Tiger, it's the cause of the fight
Driving out from the violence of the wife, oh
And the iron wielding spouse stalks her prey in the night
And she's swinging because of the LIE
Of the Tiger

Spinning out, straight for the oak
Soon we'll all know the story
Didn't get far, now you've crashed to a stop
Just a man in deep sh*t with his wife

And it's the iron of Tiger, it's the cause of the flight
Swinging high from the vengeance of the wife, oh
And the club wielding spouse stalks her hub in the night
And she's swinging because of the LIE
Of the Tiger

(And now for the resubmission of "Big Iron (In Her Grip)" which is a takeoff of the song "Big Iron (On His Hip)" a Western ballad done by Marty Robbins -- about a showdown between a Texas Ranger with a Colt .45 (big iron) and a Billy The Kid like outlaw (Texas Red) who had already killed 20 men)

To a town west of Orlando came a ruckus one fine day
It involved a famous golfer; at first, that's all they'd say
No one thought to ask the reason that he made his frenzied trip
That he was fleeing from the wifey with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

It was early in the morning when he crashed into the tree
There was something didn't add up; that was plain to see
Soon the rumors started circling that the cause of his fat lip
Was the vengeance seeking wifey with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

At the center of the story was a man named Tiger Woods
Many years had he been stalwart, role model for the good
But he turned a cheat and liar, was amoral to the core
And the harlots that he bedded numbered one and nineteen more
One and nineteen more

Now the tongues they started wagging and it got back to the wife
And as you can imagine, no end to marriage strife
"I'll forgive you for these twenty but heed my words" she said
If I hear about another, I'll be swinging for your head
Swinging for your head

She had caught him in the two time and he vowed he'd do no more
Then she heard about a new one and she said "This time it's war"
Twenty skanks he did admit to, twenty skanks she did permit
Twenty one did spark the swinging of the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

It was shortly after midnight when the sh*t did hit the fan
And the upshot of this dust up, still known throughout the land
Every married man acknowledged with a voice so full of dread
This dumb bastard sure is lucky he didn't wind up dead
Didn't wind up dead

The neighbors still are dumbstruck cause she was the perfect wife
But then one last betrayal sent him fleeing for his life
Oh it was an idyllic marriage till one story made her flip
And she went to stalk the Tiger with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

His career went down the toilet and his game did not rebound
And the wifey got the mansion and burned it to the ground
Oh, he tried to play the whole field but he made one final slip
When he crossed the Swedish wifey with the big iron in her grip
Big iron in her grip

Big iron .. big iron
When he crossed the Swedish wifey with the big iron in her grip