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Song Parodies -> "Bonbons Goodbye"

Original Song Title:

"Dear John"

Original Performer:

Status Quo

Parody Song Title:

"Bonbons Goodbye"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

If you're like me you panic at around 23:00 on December 31, make up some ridiculous New Year's resolutions on the spot, get drunk as a skunk and fall asleep at around 23:45. Having then missed the actual turning point you don't feel obliged to honour your resolutions (and boy would the local kinky toys shop and/or garbage men be grateful if they knew how close it was) so you go about things as usual. But this year I'm planning to break that habit, this year I'm making up resolutions a whole month in advance, this year I'm setting out to do in some lifestyle addictions that me and my gastrointestinal system really could do well to part with.

A YouTube version of "Dear John" can currently be found here:
Every day I am fattened up as pounds are getting piled
Ain't no way I can turn down a course, I eat all the time
When I grew bigger rack, my girlfriend ran
I've got places that sunrays fear and shun

Bonbons goodbye I say
Chocolates as well I say
Candies I'm quitting today

Vanity is a long gone lifestyle with my large behind
I'm born big and I fatten easy whilst just hanging around
Any time can I clean a plate forthright
Now I'm girded as a pre-emptive strike

Bonbons goodbye I say
Pizzas as well I say
Ice cream I'm quitting today

Bonbons goodbye I say
Peanuts as well I say
Beer cans I'm quitting today

(Guitar solo, just long enough to hit the fridge for a quick bite)

Bonbons goodbye I say
Cheese curls as well I say
Nachos I'm quitting today

Everyday I am fattened up but soon I must prevail
In my mouth I'll no longer shuffle takeouts, grease and ale
When I answer the door, Jehovah's run
Engineers from Chernobyl's built my can

Bonbons goodbye I say
Puddings as well I say
Eggnog I'm quitting today

Bonbons goodbye I say
Burgers as well I say
Vegan I'll be from this day

Bonbons goodbye I say
Sweet toothed no more I say
(Fruit cakes are out anyway)
© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Rick C - November 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Peter, you shouldn't quit EVERYTHING! 555
Red Ant - November 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Fruit cakes aren't MEANT to be eaten, lol. Great stuff, Peter, but the chances of you going Vegan are about the same as me sending you a deep fried, chocolate dipped candied moose for Easter. Full calorie 5s.
Smeg And The Heads - December 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Very subtle ... I notice that your actual promise was to quit beer CANS, not to quit the beer inside them. Clever loophole!
Agrimorfee - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Enjoyable. 2nd verse was better than the 1st one ("Vanity is a long gone lifestyle..."). Third verse, I loved the Jehovah's Witness line, but I didn't quite get the Chernobyl's can one.
Peter Andersson - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I was thinking of the engineers over there that for over twenty years now have been forced to come up with ever new ways of containing lifethreating waste.
Matthias - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
-Originality: (C+): No offense, but dieting and food parodies have been done WAY too many times in my opinion. I think every parodiest out there has at least one parody about food, so I had to stiff you some points here on food. Your only saving grace was the band you chose, because they haven't been done that many times at all. - Pacing: (B): I got kinda lost a little bit during the first stanza, but then I found myself, and it was a pretty easy read over all. - Comedy: (C+): As I said there's been a lot of food and dieting parodies in the past, but what saved you was the line: "When I answer the door, Jehovah's run". That was pretty funny to me. - Overall: (B): Decent song, and the fact that you didn't go with the same ol' same ol' that a lot of parodists this month did was a good aspect of this parody as well.
Peter Andersson - December 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Matthias: I'm glad to hear that you found the choice of OS good and original, and I'll let you in on the initial loophole joke that spawned this parody (Smeg And The Heads have already found the second one), that it's a parody about officially ambitious New Year's Resolutions - set to a tune by STATUS QUO, he-he-he. Also I'm hinting in the intro that I'll give up kinky behaviour and stuff, but I'm carefully avoiding to expand on that in detail within the lyrics. ;-)
Guy - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM-NOV) Dateline 22:45 31 Dec 2007 Zulu time.
Guy - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM-NOV) Dateline 22:45 31 Dec 2007 Zulu time.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And days of auld lang syne? And days of auld lang syne, my dear,

And days of auld lang syne.

Say bye to bonbons, pizzas. ice cream, peanuts, beer, cheese curls, nachos, puddings and burgers, But I must have astakata and frapammkakor. Wouldn't be the holidays without them. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Max Power - December 25, 2007 - Report this comment
555 pounds
Smeg And The Heads - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Comment above
Jason - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A feast of a write.
stuart mcarthur - December 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I appreciate the gag you mentioned about choosing "Status Quo" as the band for a "status change" parody, and surely "When I answer the door, Jehovah's run" would be an argument back to status quo. Very timely parody, Peter - I didn't realise that if you're asleep when the clock strikes, all resolutions become null and void - 555
Below Average Dave ( - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good, and I can't expect your last two months every month, but good job Peter, and interesting title sub.
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant! Love the loophole with the beer cans - genius, my man, pure Guinness, er, genius.
Kristof Robertson - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I liked this alot, Peter....and it will be a handy reference for when I start thiking about my new years resolutions. 555
Mikey Squirrel - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- Well, resolutions ARE made to be broken, right? I try not to make them, myself. Very well done, Peter.
Phil Alexander - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Hmm... thought I'd commented on this one first time around. I've got the OS on vinyl somewhere :-) A beautifully heavyweight parody to not the heaviest of Quo's.
Jeff Reuben - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
I try to at least make it to January 3rd (skipping January 1st, of course). Funny idea :)
Jack Wilson - December 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Awesome job,5s

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