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Song Parodies -> "Cramps!"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Salt N Pepa

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I really want to record this one, but I can't seem to find a backing track for it anywhere to buy or get permission to use, but I will work on it, because this one is too funny not to record, check out for other recordings in the mean time though.


Oh no,
my health has just decayed
I Can't get up,
and so I lay
One day I'm jogging in my prime
but these cars zoom by like they're out of time
I crossed the street,
as a Dodge flew by
It had hit me,
and he went buh-bye
License tag, caught with a glance
and it Turned out that he was under financed
Stolen truck fella?
What a tool
It turned out his license was removed
Went from bar to bar,
Was slammed by a Ram
And ten years later still,
yes I've got cramps

Cramps (What you got D?)


There's this time I felt screwed
after I ate food
After I swallowed down
my gut went "Moo"
Next thing
came out a big hurl
Then I got dizzy,
stomach twirled
Pain on my mind,
insides were all entwined
And then I fell
on my behind
Made a grunt,
Don't mean to be blunt
I ate my whole meal,
My head hurt a bunch
It's free
Said oh don't sue please
Bad Tea
destroyed my body (oy)
Oh my lunch,
The greens were Ceaser
You know the real trip?,
The crap gave me . . .Cramps!

Cramps (What you got D?)


So I lift weights,
it turned out really crummy
'Cause one fell off
and cut across both knees
It got worse,
I fell into the back wall
I broke my nose,
took a big fall
Tried to get up,
but then got decked
Out of nowhere got hit by a Bo-Flex
So I cursed gyms,
I said "Mother Trucker"
Watched my mouth as those words were uttered
I bled as I laid,
but that was a fluke
Next thing that hit me
felt just like a nuke
My jewels they paid,
got hit by a dumbbell
It's like tradition, kid,
yo I've got . . .Cramps!

Cramps (What you got D?)


Hate these Cramps. . .
for the sake of easing reading, the 'chorus' like sections in the song which are just short repetition of the word 'Tramp' was simplified, but if recorded will be recorded with all the Cramps, in this one, there really isn't a chorus. . .

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
You know how I feel about the middle stanza (And topics of the such).... But other than that this wasn't at all a cra(m)ppy parody!!! I love the OS.
Below Average Dave ( - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes but I couldn't make a song about cramps if I don't also include the fact that food is one of the most common causes of it (besides I really don't know how you feel about the middle stanza, other than one example of losing my lunch (one word) it's really not about things like "Jock Itch" or Toilet Humor) . . .but thank you for the comment. Final tally of time spent on this parody: 7 Hours (which is why the pacing is the way it is)
Matthias - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
It's not bad, but the hurl, and crap.... Well.... Yeh know....
Below Average Dave ( - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Crap? Oh the last line. . .you're silly, I'm referring to the food, not human waste. . .Referring literally to crap would be quite nasty, I can certainly see why that would not be funny. . .although now I'm getting a laugh that you took it literally, that is kinda funny. . .but no, I was referring to the quality of the food, not the bodily function:)
Rick C - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, this would be a funny one to record. I'll keep an eye out for a backing track for it. 555
AFW - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Good job...just tryin' to parody these rap style songs is enough to give ya' cramps..I remember when I did one called, "In The Club"....way too much syllable matching, and line batching..
MrMacphisto - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
This one gave me cramps from laughing... :)
stuart mcarthur - November 23, 2007 - Report this comment
nice work on the short lines Dave - they can be a real b**** - 555
Agrimorfee - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
This didn't cramp your style too much...the 2nd and 3rd verses were hilarious, but not so much the first...DUI accidents aren't as funny as intestinal irritations and klutzy accidents, I guess.
bobpiecheese - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I'm surprised you didn't get a cramp from writing this sucker! Take 555 pills and call me in the morning.
Rex - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Trying to parody rap songs can really cramp you style, but you handled it well.
Red Ant - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Hadn't heard TOS until now - this flows smoothly to it and the topic is all too familiar. Gatorade and hot baths help with leg cramps - the rest I've yet to figure out.

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